Source: dailyshame.co.uk
Borrowers were today relieved to find out that their mounting debt would still be allowed to mount, despite fears of a "credit squeeze". High street bank Northern Jock today announced that they would still be giving out huge amounts of money to almost anyone who asked for it.
Source: This is London
Sir Trevor McDonald has escaped accusations of racism, despite calling the late comedian Bernard Manning a "fat, white bastard." He made the comment on his satirical ITV1 show, News Knight, one week after the death of the stand-up comic at the age of 76.
Source: BBC News
Hundreds of mourners have attended the funeral of comic Bernard Manning, who died last week aged 76. Fellow comedians at the ceremony in Manchester included Irishman Frank Carson, who read the eulogy at the service, and Roy "Chubby" Brown.
Source: the Mail online
This is the obituary Bernard Manning wrote for himself