• Boy: I am in love with you totally.
    Girl: Tu totla! Tela baap totla!
  • She: I Like Guys With High Standards.
    Me: Mera Baap Mujhe LV Ki Belt Se Marta Hai!
  • Distant relatives are like:

    Na Jaan Na pehchaan;
    But I'll judge you,
    Like your Abba-Jaan!
  • A Prayer:
    May God break the front teeth of those who secretly plot evil against you, so that you may know your enemies by their crooked smiles!
  • Now I've stopped ironing my clothes.
    I have less pressing concerns!
  • Interviewer: What is your favourite novel?
    Marwari: The Subtle Art of not giving a buck!
  • My cat was just sick on the carpet.
    I really don't think it's feline well!
  • October is the scariest month. It's when you put away your summer clothes and wonder if they will ever fit again!
  • I need to re-home a dog. It's a small Terrier and tends to bark a lot.
    If you're interested, let me know and I'll jump over next door's fence and get it for you!
  • Foreign: Voyeurism.
    India: Mujh Ko Piya Ne Dekh Liya Haaye Re Dhokhe Se!