Who are roll models that shaped your life? Why? In this article, our good friend Boomer and I present three role models who shaped our lives. To make things interesting, two of the three must have predeceased us prior to our birth. The third is someone who we knew or know in life. Also, Boomer will list three men, and I three women. In life, we either learn from both genders, or we cut off one half of humanity to influence us.

BOOMER: Everyone needs a positive role model. Someone whose thoughts, ideas, and actions you so admire that you want to pattern your very thoughts, ideas, and actions after them. Here are three of mine.

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi 1869-1948.

When I was a young child, I remember asking my mother about a man I had seen sunning. His skin was dark and I asked her if he was sunburned. She explained to me that his ancestors had come from another country, and his skin was dark to protect from the sun. That was when I first realized people were different. But I thought that was neat. I found people's differences fascinating. As I grew older, boy was I in for a rude awakening.

Gandhi died because he believed in total independence and freedom for his native land India, and every citizen on earth. To know Gandhi, you have to start at the end. He was an, ends justify the means kind of guy.

Social injustice was tantamount to his philosophies. From his role model, his mother, he learned compassion, mutual tolerance, practiced tolerance, practiced vegetarianism. His closest allies were Truth and Love.

Gandhi was the leader of the Indian Independence Movement. He was so beloved, he was bestowed the honorific of Mahatma, meaning great soul. He lived modestly, wore traditional clothing and ate simply. 

Satyagraha means resistance to tyranny through civil resistance. Gandhi was a devotee of both Satyagraha and Ahimsa, meaning non-violence. The Reverend Martin Luther King channeled Gandhi during the, I have a dream speech.

When I was formerly introduced to Gandhi during my hippie teenage years, I had already been sickened by my observance of social injustice and discrimination, especially of women. Gandhi spoke to me. I wanted to walk his walk, and talk his talk. Finally, someone else got it. It sure is taking us a long time to catch up.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt 1882-1945

I come from a riotous political Democratic family. The adage, never talk politics or religion, never knocked on our door. We are at home debating either. We have strong opinions and strong women. One person that was always revered and highly respected in our family was FDR. I seem to remember that hushed tones were used in referring to both he and his wife, Eleanor. As a child, at my Mom's insistence, we visited his summer home in Warm Springs, Georgia.

I often heard stories about my great-uncles experiences working in the CCC (Civilian Conservation Corps) camps. These were a program instituted by Roosevelt for providing jobs for rural workers under his New Deal. They were grateful and respectful. The WPA (Works Progress Administration) provided relief for the whole black community. The TVA (Tennessee Valley Authority) modernized my home, which was poverty stricken.     

The reason why this is important is that the first time Roosevelt was elected the country was enduring joblessness, homelessness, and a bank failure crisis. FDR would go on to to be re-elected three more times. He was proactive in creating programs for jobs, created the Social Security Administration and implemented the Indian Reorganization Act. FDR was a champion of minorities and the disadvantaged.

He was President for more than a dozen years. He put out many pressing fires, domestically and globally. World War II was on his watch.

I've read he was not perfect. That may be part of his charm. I respect his tenacity, and his fight for the common person. Besides, no one will argue with my Mother.  

My third and final role model is to be alive and someone who has been in my life who I would want to emulate. I really had a hard time with this. I could think of no man that was a role model in my life. I asked the female members of my family to think of one. I was answered with silence or blank stares. Is that sad or what? Then, it came to me ---.

H.H., my father. There is absolutely nothing about his life I want to emulate. He is my reverse role model!

My father robbed no banks. He never slapped a woman. He never killed anyone. My father never spent a night in jail. He simply didn't care for his children. We never starved, but we did go to bed hungry. We went without Doctor and Dental visits, and had no celebrations. You get the picture. Our single mother could not provide such things. More than my sister and I our brother suffered most from not having a good Father figure. I resent that. As the oldest of us three, maybe I do have issues.

I won't live my life like that. I adore my child, my niece and nephew. It takes a village to raise a child. My family always circles the wagons.

Through him, I learned about unconditional love, nature and compassion. I learned it by seeing and experiencing the opposite. I protected my brother and sister because my brother could not. I taught them love and loyalty. I counseled male friends when they made the same mistakes with their children our father did. I always urged their participation in their child's life, regardless of their relationship with their child's mother. This is a cheap cop out in my book. 

With any role model, forgiveness should be taught as a priority. I forgive, I don't forget. I know he suffers. It could have been different.

BOOMER.  

ENOCH: My three female role models are the Biblical warrior Yael, the Biblical role model for prayer, Hannah, and my Bubbie (Grandmother) Esther.

Yael: In the book of Deborah there is mention of the warrior Yael. What she is known for in Scripture is not why she is a role model for me. In Biblical times, the key to what someone experienced or did is to be found in their new name. That is because people took on new names when their lives reflected a need for it. The name Yael is actually a contraction of two names. Ya (short for the Tetragrammon, the generally unpronounced Name of G-d). El is for another of the names referring to G-d, (Eloheem). There are seven different names for G-d referring to aspects of, and relations of the Holy One. Ya refers to a G-d who has a unique relationship of love to Israel. Part of that relationship is mercy. El refers to a universal and objective G-d of justice. Yael had the unique, rare and very difficult ability to combine justice with mercy. The more you think about that, the clearer it is that this is very hard to do.

All my life I do my best to attempt to combine justice with mercy. I am not always successful. But I do give it the old college try. With Yael as my role model, it is well worth the effort. 

Hannah: Hannah was barren. Her womb was closed. Her life was not complete without a child. As so many of us do, she turned to G-d with a prayer of request. Unlike most of us her prayer of request was not centered on her needs, with nothing in it for the Almighty. Too many of us make prayers of request. If they are not granted, we reject G-d, and show our disappointment. If we get what we want, G-d may not hear much if anything from us until the next time we need a favor.

This was not Hannah's way. When she prayed for a child, she prayed that if given the child, which would compete her life and what she wanted more than anything, she would raise the child in the service of G-d. G-d wants us to succeed in this world on its terms. In this world, the best way to get what you want is to give someone else what they want. A win-win situation. Before we can ascend to the next level of reality, we are to do what we are sent to do here and now. This is the genius of Covenantial relationships. Everyone gets something from them. No one way streets.

Hannah's prayer was granted. She raised her son to live a life of service to G-d. The name given her son is Shmuel. Literally, in Hebrew, Sha'ul me' El (Asked of G-d). In English, that name is Samuel. You can read about the life of Samuel in Scripture. It is indeed a life of service to the Divine.

All prayer is communication. You communicate with G-d. There are prayers of request. There are also prayers of praise. You ask nothing for yourself, you praise G-d. See Samuel II 1-10 for Hannah's Song of Praise. She rose about what she wanted. She elevated herself above her personal experiences. In this Song of praise, she expressed the universal moral guidance of G-d.

Unlike too many, she did not stop communicating with G-d when she got what she requested. She followed through with her end of the deal. Then she ascended to adoration on a very high literary and moral level.

Most of what I know about, and my people know about how to pray comes from my role model, Hannah.

Bubbie (Grandmother) Esther): As did all her grandchildren I would go to my grandmother Esther's for lunch while attending elementary school. Her project was across the street from my school. There was always fresh bread or rolls baking in the oven. There was either hot or cold soup, fresh made in a bowl for me, depending on the season. While I had lunch, Bubbie Esther would play her Balalaika or Dobro and sing songs to me from the Old Country in a variety of languages. She spoke a dozen fluently.

She would listen to anything I had to say. No judgement. Open pure communication. Bubbie Esther was always there for me, as for all her grandchildren. Always listening. Always singing, always feeding. She was always there for us. Even in our teen age years. When we most needed her, she was always there.

All children and grandchildren need advocates. This life of ours today is not a natural one. It is confusing. It is fraught with pitfalls. Much of What I know about being a good parent and grandparent came from Bubbie Esther. Hers is a Sacred set of memories for me.

Who are your role models, and why? They can come from any human field of endeavor. Who influenced you? Inquiring Viners want to know.   

ENOCH.