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MADDAD

Protect Your Kids!
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Where Do Your Moral Standards Come From? POLL

Fri Jul 23, 2010 10:18 PM EDT
opinion, poll, morals
By maddad

Live Poll

What most contributed to your moral standards?

View Results
  • 106975
    parents
    45%
  • 106976
    peers
    1%
  • 106977
    church/religion
    13%
  • 106978
    pop culture
    2%
  • 106979
    other (comment)
    38%

VoteTotal Votes: 205

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We all have them, some set of morals that we live by. Some of us may not like other people's moral values, but they are still theirs.

Where do we develop these moral ideas from? Our parents, peers, church or some other source of thought and setting the lines one will not cross in life?

Most of what I learned from my experiences with organized religion was how to judge others and feel better than other people. I also learned how to sneak out at the right time to smoke a cigarette behind the building. Bad Maddad!

My parental figures were a mix of fanatical religious zealots and a drunk. I am not certain I learned more then the boundaries are farther than you may think, when it comes to what people are capable of.

The few peers I have had relationships with throughout my life, usually split before I got out of hand. My lines in the sand were a lot farther in the desert sometimes than they were willing to go.

We are all moral beings. Where did the influences come from that gave you your moral standards?

Maddad

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maddad

thanks for your time, participation and comments. CoH MD

  • 6 votes
#1 - Fri Jul 23, 2010 10:20 PM EDT
Just Neli

Interesting question. My parents had their issues as well, but I was greatly influenced by what they said, even though what they did often fell short. Religious teachings helped, as well. But the greatest influence in my moral development was and is experience. I learned for myself what was right, what actions rewarded me, what beliefs nourished me.

One thing was huge in my life. No one ever told me that work was unpleasant or used work as punishment, so I grew up liking to work, and happy to share the proceeds. I never resented taxes and I never felt that my personal worth depended on stuff.

  • 21 votes
#1.1 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 4:15 AM EDT
Jason Burnham

My Grandmother.

  • 7 votes
#1.2 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 7:02 AM EDT
Norcal2

My morals and standards came from a good old fashioned case of cancer at a very young age. It instantly taught me that it is THIS life I had been missing by focusing on the little things that blind us. It showed me what was important and what was not. It made me keenly aware of my responsibility to live this life like I appreciate the gift it is.

And so I do and I live by "do no harm" because I embraced the reality of fragility.

  • 10 votes
#1.3 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 11:02 AM EDT
Ms CYPRAH

Mine definitely comes from my parents and my own maturity. I used to be very religious but the sheer hypochrisy of the Catholic church made me question many of the things I used to be told to do which led to a lot of needless angst. Today, I am calm, comfortable and serene in the fact that the morals I've chosen down the years not only work splendidly but also suit me and my life and the way I wish to be - and it is a pretty good place to be! :o)

If I could sum up my morals in a simple phrase it would have to be: Live and let live.

  • 8 votes
#1.4 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 2:13 PM EDT
Broliver Stagnasty

I got my moral compass through experience. My parents certainly affected this, since they were both there throughout my entire upbringing, but other experiences besides those with my parents formed the basis for my morality.

B.S.

  • 2 votes
#1.5 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 3:34 PM EDT
RETLAW

I clicked the 'parents' option, and was quite surprised to find I am with the majority. AND, only eleven percent selected 'religion'. The televangelists must never learn of this ((unscientific) poll !!

  • 5 votes
#1.6 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 3:34 PM EDT
Nasty Liberal

My atheist parents taught me don't lie and respect others as myself.

Now that Truth Is Out of Style, for me the first has become easier and the second more difficult.

  • 8 votes
#1.7 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 4:40 PM EDT
Jeff-Las Vegas

Parents without a doubt. I was fortunate because I had parents around to help me form those values. They have modified a bit over time with experience and do no follow my parents down the line. So many people are not quite so fortunate and do not even have one parent to look up to as a role model. That is where the Rock Stars/athletes and Movie stars come into play for so many.

  • 2 votes
#1.8 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 5:25 PM EDT
Tina-293371

Ms CYPRAH, I could have written your post word for word. Bizarre!

I could sum up my morals thusly: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

  • 4 votes
#1.9 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 5:42 PM EDT
Mighty Mouth

My moral compass, true north and alma mater was, is and still remains the careful, nurturing love and guidance of both mother and father - and Rudyard Kipling's - IF....

  • 5 votes
#1.10 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 7:00 PM EDT
neoatg

Morals come from society to live together and work together we as a species evolved a set of standard rights. They have been defined, abuse, enforced, and so on over the millenniums but the core of them has been the same.

If we could only get over the them vs. us we also created.

  • 2 votes
#1.11 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 8:47 PM EDT
CynicL1

Complicated Maddad, first my mom as imperfect as she was set certain core boundries of right and wrong. Added to that was life and observation of what has and does go on around me. I found that kindness and careing were of far more value than simple power over someone else. Over time I found out that violence for violence sake was foolish, but that there were times when it was a necessary thing for self preservation of myself or those in my care. And I have observed over time how some who have themselves been the victim of great evil could in turn themselves do great evil, but that I did not have to subcumb to those same impulses.

In short I learned from my mom and my life expierences what my own internal limits were.

Peace

  • 2 votes
#1.12 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 11:16 PM EDT
Kshark

I chose my parents, though really more so my mother than my father ever did.

My father was not much of a father, and things he and his dad would joke about when I was growing up made me sick.

My mom was more the grounded parent, the one that looked at all angles. I cannot remember if any teachers helped, they probably did. I was always more of a "black sheep" every since I was born, not being a conformist. I somehow and oddly always seemed to be quite focused in my life, since I was really really young and seeing how other people screwed up their lives I didn't want to do that to my own.

Wow that is odd, aside from my mom, I kind of just led my own way through life.

  • 4 votes
#1.13 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 11:55 PM EDT
MarkLHolland

My moral beliefs were started with my parents, but it was basically the golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. my final beliefs and morals were given to me by my God.

And they boil down to about three things, Do Unto Christians as they do unto others. Two challenge and invalidate Christian beliefs whenever and where ever possible. Three do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

  • 2 votes
#1.14 - Sun Jul 25, 2010 4:22 AM EDT
Broliver Stagnasty

So, Mark, what sets aside christians in particular from your number three.

Reading your post, it would seem that you feel that someone who is christian is someone who you would have to get to know to tell how they treat others, and from that information treat them accordingly. But the number three means that you also would like to be treated in that way. So, if a christian is nice, you are nice to them, but if they behave nastily towards someone, it is alllright just to be nsty to them? And since, if you wish to be treated in the same manner as you treat others, that means that others may be nasty to you?

Your system of morals seems to have a logical conundrum built in.

How about just sticking with number three?

B.S.

  • 1 vote
#1.15 - Sun Jul 25, 2010 1:14 PM EDT
MarkLHolland

To BS

Nah if I was to only go by one of them it would be number one, after all that is the path that my God has set before me.

  • 2 votes
#1.16 - Sun Jul 25, 2010 1:19 PM EDT
Nicole-1272536

I would say people who helped me become the woman I am today were a couple of teachers in high school. Ironic, since I absolutely detested high school. My parents were too self-absorbed with their "new" family to notice I was even there (divorced family). Beyond that, over the past 20 years, I have been blessed with 5 of the truest friends anyone could ask for whose values and morals I can honestly relate to and want for not only my life, but for my kids.

  • 8 votes
#2 - Fri Jul 23, 2010 10:37 PM EDT
jackjack-712749

"Where did the influences come from that gave you your moral standards?"

My fathers belt..................

  • 10 votes
#3 - Fri Jul 23, 2010 10:39 PM EDT
7cents

My father was not around, so I did not get the belt from him, but boy could my mother swing a broom....

  • 4 votes
#3.1 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 1:08 AM EDT
GoldenGateMami_Susi

In our house that broom was a chancleta. Slippers. Usually rubber soled. Heat seeking missiles.

We had a phone alcove in our house and passed it was the door to the kitchen or we'd walk through the living room into the dining room and through the door there.

If for some reason we talked back or looked at her wrong or the sin of all sins rolled our eyes she'd wait until we thought we had gotten past her and then that chancleta would come around corners and hit its mark...that soft spot right behind your knee.

:)

  • 8 votes
#3.2 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 1:46 AM EDT
1devon

Reading these posts makes me so thankful for my parents!

  • 2 votes
#3.3 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 10:22 PM EDT
GoldenGateMami_Susi

Me, too.

  • 3 votes
#3.4 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 10:49 PM EDT
1devon

No forced religion, no beatings or violence ever. Not once...I think I'm gonna send them a nice gift basket! : 0 )

  • 4 votes
#3.5 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 10:56 PM EDT
GoldenGateMami_Susi

Flinging of a slipper is violent?

Really?

Uhm you make it sound as if I got beaten.

LOL

  • 3 votes
#3.6 - Sun Jul 25, 2010 1:59 AM EDT
1devon

Our worlds were just different. To me, throwing an object at a child is uncalled for. But then I had parents who considered any hitting unless in self-defense unacceptable. And striking someone who lacked the strength to fight back was not respected in our house. I undertand hitting kids is applauded in many circles, but my family doesn't consider it honorable at all. Oddly enough, my parents are military and conservative.

  • 3 votes
#3.7 - Sun Jul 25, 2010 2:29 AM EDT
tyler-1708225

Mine came from within. I didn't need anyone, anything to tell me. Are you saying religion taught you to sneak out and smoke a cigarette or to feel superior to others. If so, you picked the wrong church.

  • 5 votes
#4 - Fri Jul 23, 2010 10:39 PM EDT
maddad

you picked the wrong church

i did not pick anything, i was shoved in a every time the cracked the window open. Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, and Thursday night Youth Group. my grandparents made none of it optional and my mother liked it when i was gone. so everyone was happy, except me.

  • 11 votes
#4.1 - Fri Jul 23, 2010 10:43 PM EDT
Nicole-1272536

My parents never went to church, but they made sure I was there on Sunday and Wednesday and youth group. Oh yay. I understand completely what you are saying maddad. They were happy, I was not.

  • 8 votes
#4.2 - Fri Jul 23, 2010 11:10 PM EDT
goober.70

Mine came from within. I didn't need anyone, anything to tell me. Are you saying religion taught you to sneak out and smoke a cigarette or to feel superior to others. If so, you picked the wrong church.

The personification of the arrogant conservative mind set!!!

  • 1 vote
#4.3 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 7:37 AM EDT
thriller1

I don't think tylers comment was arrogant nor has anything to do with being conservative.

We all have an instinctual awareness of good and evil,right and wrong.

The difference I think comes in where a person has no kind of guilty conscience even when they know what they are doing and saying is wrong.These people are the rapist, murderers,thieves,child molesters,racist,bigots,greedy and so on.

They know they are wrong yet their self centered mentality makes it so they don't care.

  • 8 votes
#4.4 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 12:17 PM EDT
lvh-784809

He misunderstood.

  • 3 votes
#4.5 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 12:25 PM EDT
goober.70

Mine came from within. I didn't need anyone, anything to tell me. Are you saying religion taught you to sneak out and smoke a cigarette or to feel superior to others. If so, you picked the wrong church.

I believe that it's not always what one says but how one says it. As many times as I read it I can't come away with a different understanding. It's not personal. I just see it in a conservative context. Many times I address a comment before I see who wrote it and add the name before I post.

  • 1 vote
#4.6 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 5:40 PM EDT
TruettCollins

goober.70 . When you consider that Bucolically God gives every person the knowledge of right and wrong, all could say that it comes from within.

  • 1 vote
#4.7 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 9:03 PM EDT
1devon

My parents weren't at ALL impressed with religion. We went to church for weddings, funerals or baptisms only. They also were well above hitting kids. I had a truly blessed childhood.

  • 2 votes
#4.8 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 10:27 PM EDT
1devon

God gave people the knowledge of right and wrong? I'm sorry, but how on earth do you make that statement in light of all the atrocities committed in the name of religion?

  • 2 votes
#4.9 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 11:11 PM EDT
TruettCollins

You nailed it "in the name of religion"...religion is not God...religion is man using the name of God for their own purposes......

  • 3 votes
#4.10 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 11:19 PM EDT
1devon

Huh..So if God instilled a sense of right and wrong, again, how do you explain evil..cruelty? There are a lot of message on this thread that, once again, gives me a deep appreciation for my peaceful, atheist (agnostic on their most open minded days) parents.

  • 2 votes
#4.11 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 11:25 PM EDT
TruettCollins

Men choosing to ignore that instilled sense.....

  • 1 vote
#4.12 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 11:28 PM EDT
1devon

But if the religious texts are the word of God... ???? There seems to be a lot of immorality and evil in the religious texts, (all of them) that are supposedly the word of God. What you're saying is that even though those were sold as the word of God, mankind should have simply known not to follow them. A very primitive people at that. Why on earth would God not step in and put a stop to it? Why would that sense of right and wrong not dominate? It goes on every single day even today. My parents never got their values from God or religion. They felt many (not ALL so calm down) who did were severely lacking in intelligence, integrity and honor. I find/found them much more enlightened than their spiritual peers.

  • 1 vote
#4.13 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 11:40 PM EDT
Kshark

goober.70--

Mine came from within. I didn't need anyone, anything to tell me. Are you saying religion taught you to sneak out and smoke a cigarette or to feel superior to others. If so, you picked the wrong church.

I believe that it's not always what one says but how one says it. As many times as I read it I can't come away with a different understanding. It's not personal. I just see it in a conservative context. Many times I address a comment before I see who wrote it and add the name before I post.

Typical liberal bully mindset.

Here is a thought instead of being arrogant yourself why not actually ask tyler what he meant as opposed to jumping to the partisan bull@!$%#.

  • 2 votes
#4.14 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 11:59 PM EDT
tyler-1708225

I was never taken to church, my parents didn't agree on anything, so no help there. I was on my own with only my heart and mind to guide me.

  • 5 votes
#5 - Fri Jul 23, 2010 11:01 PM EDT
lvh-784809

The church teaches what you want to learn. I spent lots of time there when young and enjoyed it. Everyone is different. Many things influence how we make decisions. Too many to mention. I hope you do well with the decisions you've made for yourself. :)

  • 3 votes
#5.1 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 12:32 PM EDT
Kshark

tyler-1708225--

Yeah church was my dad's thing, not my mom's. I really didn't understand church when I was younger, all the kids were sent to Sunday School anyway. heheh I just wanted those little wafer things, but I always refused the wine.

Anyway, come time for confirmation dad wanted me to be confirmed, mom spoke to the minister, who was a family friend, he told mom, at that age one is too young to be confirmed given they don't really know if they want to be part of the church or not. So he told mom to let me decide when I was older if I wanted to be confirmed or not.

People fail to see that there are civil thinking ministers and religious people. The extremists just get all the press and the cloud the religion judgment for everyone else.

But yeah I was like you, in a way, enough. While I had my mom was my guide, and she was very in the middle of life, not liberal, not conservative, she looked at everything, but it was the situation she assessed, at the time, not otherwise. So I had her, but mostly I just was not a conformist and did my own thing. I knew what I wanted in my life, and what I did not want.

  • 6 votes
#5.2 - Sun Jul 25, 2010 12:04 AM EDT
Uthaclena

Parental upbringing, carrying along their culture, which also just happened to reinforce the local culture they and I grew all up in. As I grew up the religious authorization for such a life dropped away for me, but the values of honor and decency and family remained.

  • 6 votes
#6 - Fri Jul 23, 2010 11:07 PM EDT
firsty

as much as my parents disagree with me about many of my values, every time they object to something i believe in and explain why my thinking is off, i find myself wanting to tear my hair out and tell them: BUT THATS NOT HOW YOU RAISED ME.

in other words, i think i learned the process of critical thinking that i use to define and redefine my values from my parents, even though their particular set of morals wasnt always transferred intact.

these days, i get my morals from one place -- as an atheist buddhist, i feel that all moral questions can be deconstructed down to one simple truth: that all living things seek to avoid suffering and pain, so -- if something causes pain or suffering, it is immoral. a complete set of morals comes only by interacting with people enough to understand their particular pain or suffering, and then having an awareness of our own suffering enough to be able to come up with a solution that takes both into account.

  • 12 votes
#7 - Fri Jul 23, 2010 11:10 PM EDT
Just Neli

firsty:

these days, i get my morals from one place -- as an atheist buddhist, i feel that all moral questions can be deconstructed down to one simple truth: that all living things seek to avoid suffering and pain, so -- if something causes pain or suffering, it is immoral. a complete set of morals comes only by interacting with people enough to understand their particular pain or suffering, and then having an awareness of our own suffering enough to be able to come up with a solution that takes both into account.

To Buddhists, suffering equates with desire - wanting - identifying oneself as somehow incomplete or lacking. The seeking of pleasure, avoidance of pain, all that comes before you see these two activities as identical - as suffering - as desire for a different state. According to Buddhists, this desire, this pursuit of the carrot, can carry you through life after life.

After you realize this enough, though, you can drop it and be serene in the moment with what is. Or so they say.

  • 5 votes
#7.1 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 4:24 AM EDT
firsty

To Buddhists, suffering equates with desire - wanting - identifying oneself as somehow incomplete or lacking. The seeking of pleasure, avoidance of pain, all that comes before you see these two activities as identical - as suffering - as desire for a different state. According to Buddhists, this desire, this pursuit of the carrot, can carry you through life after life.

i'm not big on rebirth. it's the only part of buddhism that requires faith to accept, and the reason i went to buddhism was precisely to avoid that kind of magical thinking.

but i do still find truth in most of the buddhist texts that refer to rebirth, because once it's broken down to its essential meaning, we are reborn every day, in fact we are reborn every time we improve (or weaken) ourselves.

anyway -- you describe it well. one thing to keep in mind is that the buddhist worldview demonstrates that the condition of life is one of suffering -- not that we always "suffer," but that we are never perfectly blissful. and that there is no way to entirely avoid desirous attachment. if there were, we wouldnt be human. it speaks more to a methodology than a solution.

as such, we live what is essentially an immoral life -- there is no way to be 100% moral, but we try, and there is an absolute morality in the moment if we understand that it's more about doing our best and being as aware as possible about the events and other lives connected to our choices.

so the "moment with what it is" you mentioned is exactly that -- there is only momentary truth, temporary realities, but as long as we also base our understanding on that moment, and not on what we wish it were or what we thought it used to be, then we can achieve a pretty complete, productive and positive morality.

  • 7 votes
#7.2 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 9:39 AM EDT
Just Neli

firsty

i'm not big on rebirth. it's the only part of Buddhism that requires faith to accept, and the reason i went to Buddhism was precisely to avoid that kind of magical thinking.

but i do still find truth in most of the Buddhist texts that refer to rebirth, because once it's broken down to its essential meaning, we are reborn every day, in fact we are reborn every time we improve (or weaken) ourselves.

Yes.

anyway -- you describe it well. one thing to keep in mind is that the Buddhist worldview demonstrates that the condition of life is one of suffering -- not that we always "suffer," but that we are never perfectly blissful. and that there is no way to entirely avoid desirous attachment. if there were, we wouldnt be human. it speaks more to a methodology than a solution.

as such, we live what is essentially an immoral life -- there is no way to be 100% moral, but we try, and there is an absolute morality in the moment if we understand that it's more about doing our best and being as aware as possible about the events and other lives connected to our choices.

What appeals to me most about the Buddhist approach are the precepts having to do with right action and right thought. I find them perfectly compatible with what we know of Jesus' actual teachings, but I also find them perfectly compatible with happiness (at least for me).

so the "moment with what it is" you mentioned is exactly that -- there is only momentary truth, temporary realities, but as long as we also base our understanding on that moment, and not on what we wish it were or what we thought it used to be, then we can achieve a pretty complete, productive and positive morality.

Yes. In the moment, addressing the task at hand, it is not possible to covet, or to be angry, or to feel unfairly treated. You can just let those things go, at first momentarily, and, as you let them go, you realize they do not serve you.

  • 7 votes
#7.3 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 12:53 PM EDT
firsty

Yes. In the moment, addressing the task at hand, it is not possible to covet, or to be angry, or to feel unfairly treated. You can just let those things go, at first momentarily, and, as you let them go, you realize they do not serve you.

very well described, yes! :)

  • 4 votes
#7.4 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 1:33 PM EDT
Joanna Caroll

My mother was the biggest influence on me. Although I don't think she set out to do anything grand in raising seven children, there was discipline, always special time, fun, and an abundance of love. Somewhere there was also fear - whether from the nuns, my father or "authority," but fear often made us behave better.

  • 4 votes
#8 - Fri Jul 23, 2010 11:31 PM EDT
CrescentSun

I prefer ethics because morality tends to be too black & white and religious. A good example would be a teacher having a sexual relationship with one of his students. It is unethical, but certainly not immoral. The suggestion that it is unethical means that he's breaking the rules and getting far too involved with his student in an inappropriate way. The suggestion that it is immoral means that he's committed a sin. That's powerful language and should always be avoided.

Anyway to answer your question, I'm not entirely sure where my ethics/morals come from. It's not from my parents or peers, and being an atheist, certainly not from religion. Pop culture seems so irrelevant to real life, so it's definitely not that. I'll try to think where my ethical beliefs came from...

  • 7 votes
#9 - Fri Jul 23, 2010 11:39 PM EDT
TruettCollins

What if that teacher was married?

  • 1 vote
#9.1 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 9:05 PM EDT
CrescentSun

What if that teacher was married?

Then that teacher is in deep @!$%# with his/her spouse! I don't believe in sin, so I obviously don't consider it a sin.

  • 1 vote
#9.2 - Sun Jul 25, 2010 6:19 PM EDT
TruettCollins

What is your definition of a sin?

  • 1 vote
#9.3 - Sun Jul 25, 2010 7:23 PM EDT
CrescentSun

I don't believe in sin, so I really have no definition for it. Sin is a word used by religious people to describe anything god disapproves with.

  • 1 vote
#9.4 - Sun Jul 25, 2010 7:47 PM EDT
TruettCollins

So I guess you are without conscious .

#9.5 - Sun Jul 25, 2010 8:20 PM EDT
JJP

TruettCollins @ #9.5, CrescentSun said he doesn't consider it a sin since he doesn't believe in sin. He didn't say that he didn't think it was wrong or unethical. So I wouldn't say that he is without conscious.

The definition of sin that makes the most sense to me is selfishness.

Know, self is the only excuse. Self is the only sin; that is, selfishness--and all the others are just a modification of that expression of the ego.

Edgar Cayce Reading 1362-1

You can take all of the man-made lists of sins and if you dig down to the root of the thought or action that is considered sinful you will find that it is something most often motivated by selfishness. I believe it is the selfish intent behind the action or thought that makes it sinful not the actual thought, action or inaction.

#9.6 - Mon Jul 26, 2010 10:52 AM EDT
MarkLHolland

For me sin could be defined as doing something to another, that you your self would not want done to you.

#9.7 - Mon Jul 26, 2010 10:58 AM EDT
CrescentSun

So I guess you are without conscious .

I'm unconscious as I type this.

  • 4 votes
#9.8 - Tue Jul 27, 2010 3:58 PM EDT
Marine24

I think I have a couple sources,

My dad, his belt or back hand (old Navy). My native american back ground especially because we are a tight people and respectful of each other. Native american religion balanced with christianity. and then finally the Marine Corps, (My old Corps) God, Country Corps. Then my own assesment of proper morals as I see them, may not be totally right but they do me well and the people around me.

Dont get me wrong but we constantly are learning and morals are learned, so we grow new ones as we go.

  • 4 votes
#10 - Fri Jul 23, 2010 11:44 PM EDT
Mrs D-1475814

Marine... You said a lot with just a few words. Respect to you!!!

  • 4 votes
#10.1 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 1:03 AM EDT
virginia-1492786

My father was gone by the time I was 5 and my mother was considered to be a barfly until she remarried when I was 8 so I'm not sure where my morals came from. I read alot and realized at an early age that not everyone lived by my families morals or lack thereof and I wanted to be 'normal' and fit in with people that had good character so I guess I just tried to always do what 'good' people did. I never attended church much because it seemed every one I did try to attend was filled with self-righteous judgmental hypocrits that just wanted me to swallow the story and do as I was told but I have a bad habit of questioning everyone and everything :)

  • 5 votes
#11 - Fri Jul 23, 2010 11:45 PM EDT
GoldenGateMami_Susi

Core foundational morals. Parents, grandmothers, extended family, church, school, peers.

  • 7 votes
#12 - Fri Jul 23, 2010 11:54 PM EDT
CynicL1

My Mom and my observation of life. As for the Catholic church? Not so much, saw too many things in religion that conflicted with my observations of the world and my interest in the sciences. Don't get me wrong I never saw any of the shenanigans involving Priest mollesting kids and I Was around the Church enough that I would have, but the Church left me as much as I left the Church.

Oh an Susi, mom's tennis shoe was both deadly and accurate, not to mntion she made US go cut a switch off the Elm tree for exceptional transgressions..

  • 2 votes
#12.1 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 11:27 PM EDT
GoldenGateMami_Susi

Ooo. You had the added joy of "Git a switch." Yikes!

Yeah, that would scar me for life!

  • 3 votes
#12.2 - Sun Jul 25, 2010 12:08 AM EDT
CynicL1

Well it did lead me to avoid getting caught...;-)

  • 2 votes
#12.3 - Sun Jul 25, 2010 1:34 AM EDT
GoldenGateMami_Susi

LOL CynicL

You know, growing up and even into my early adulthood, I was known as 'the good girl' the one who never did anything wrong....blah, blah, blah.

If they only knew that the difference between my sister and I was that I never got caught.

:)

  • 4 votes
#12.4 - Sun Jul 25, 2010 1:58 AM EDT
shepherd0886

In the mid 70s I had a college professor in an ethics course tell me that the only thing that is truly unethical is getting caught. :=O That is when my tongue got permanently stuck in my cheek area when it came to my college curriculum. LOL It seems the real lessons being taught were 'how to lie and cheat while looking like an angel.' The sad part is that we are reaping the results of those kinds of attitudes today. These are the people who run our political, religious, and economic institutions. Yoweeee! This brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "caveat emptor." HEH HEH HEH HEH

  • 4 votes
#12.5 - Sun Jul 25, 2010 8:11 AM EDT
GoldenGateMami_Susi

LOL

Wow they have a class in that? ;)

It's not like I went around killing small animals or trying every drug known to man (I didn't), I just enjoyed being mischievous when the mood struck :)

Although, there was this time....

(Blushes)

  • 3 votes
#12.6 - Sun Jul 25, 2010 11:29 AM EDT
shepherd0886

Oh yeah Golden Gate Mami. And for truly advanced studies you go into law and political science. This is where you learn the fine art of 'putting a spin' on something or finding loopholes that permit you to circumvent the laws of the land without going to jail. HEH HEH HEH HEH.

#12.7 - Mon Jul 26, 2010 9:31 PM EDT
Carol-99

I'm not really sure where my moral standards came from. I just sort of quit going to church when I was a young teenager, and my parents did not force me to go. Neither of my parents are very communicative. I am an introvert, and I have never had many friends. I am empathetic and respectful of others. I guess I'm just a mystery to myself.

  • 10 votes
#13 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 12:09 AM EDT
Ben-1268009

I think my (and everyone's) morals come from my (or their) own character and are a reflection of that character (for better or worse).

  • 8 votes
#14 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 12:11 AM EDT
Mister Joshua

Most definetly from my parents and the Bible since I grew up going to church, but also from my hot-headed, ill tempered older brother. Because of him, I'm as calm and patient as a person can be.

  • 5 votes
#15 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 12:33 AM EDT
krounded

Interesting question. I was born with them. My moral standards are in my genes. My Mom backs this up by recounting past relative's situations. The same values seem to transcend each generation in my family. Since many in my family did not raise their own children, it does not seem to come from anything directly related to environment.

  • 6 votes
#16 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 12:44 AM EDT
dcstone01

Parents.

I had to go to church (the parents family insisted all the kids go to church) when I was 10...My dad was military from my birth until I was almost 10 so we weren't around all the church going family members...now I realize my parents enjoyed that time away too...

But, by then I already knew what was 'good' or 'bad' as far as behavior and conduct are concerned. I too noticed the hypocrites and hypocritical messages the church gave...As a 'girl' I was treated outside of church as a person with a 'thinking' brain' whose opinions mattered and education and questioning was encouraged. In church I noticed the messages given were that girls were to be subservient to the man and do & think what he wanted and thinking on my part was unnecessary as long as I did my womanly duties to the man and God...

sorry...but I couldn't handle that...as soon as I could I left the church...

  • 7 votes
#17 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 1:25 AM EDT
mary hess

I would say that in this country it is common practice that most moral foundation come from the parents. As one gets older they develop there own standards in society.

  • 6 votes
#18 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 1:31 AM EDT
Tired of F'Ups

I would say without a doubt, my father. Best advice ever was the importance of your word and how compromised you are when you dont keep your word. When I read on this Vine about things like "strategic defaults" , I just have to shake my head. even more pathetic is the rationalizing through "evil" banks and unemployment rates/recession and so on and so on. Not keeping your word definately says something about your character.

  • 6 votes
#19 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 1:42 AM EDT
soggy9000

My world-class parents, of course, and especially my grandparents on my father's side. (They were delightful people, my grandparents, very wise and tons of fun to be around. They were devout but not at all preachy or stuffy.) Everything good about who I am, I owe to those four. (Everything not so good, I owe to no one but me.)

  • 5 votes
#20 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 1:51 AM EDT
Tammy1

I would say mostly from my father. Since having children, I made it a point not to associate with anyone I could not respect. For me to have respect for anyone, they must have a high moral character. It sounds easy enough, but honestly its not.

I have passed on my values to my daughters and told them....if you cannot respect a person, you really do not have a friend in them. Now 12 and 13, they understand why I married their dad.

  • 3 votes
#21 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 1:57 AM EDT
nel1944Deleted
nel1944Deleted
Demosthene

My morals came from culture, from Native respect and consideration for others and respect for the world. All people contributed, both the good and the bad. From the good I learned to love and respect the earth and its peoples, from the bad I learned to condemn evil and nastiness by example.

  • 5 votes
#24 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 3:54 AM EDT
Samantha Joy

I absorbed them from society.

  • 3 votes
#25 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 4:09 AM EDT
Kara Shalee

My parents set a fine example, but I didn't always "follow". I'm just not a follower in general. Church, too restrictive, so I rebelled. Peers, no I had too many going in different, very interesting directions. But we all ended up doing our own thing.

Poll selection is "other" with comment: my morals have come from life experience.

Good questions, MD

  • 3 votes
#26 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 5:14 AM EDT
Zanyzazu

When I was a child, and young teen, I decided I wanted to be a "good girl", and I was.

I saw the bad girls and knew It was not possible for me to be that. Always being in trouble looked foolish to me, and seemed to never end, and I had better things to do with my time, so I didnt ever get started to be in the wrong lane so to speak. I was also very beautiful, and it was easy for me to get attention....I never needed to be bad to have attention directed my way.

So morallly it was easy to decide for myself how I wanted to be.

I have 4 sisters and a brother...and we all seemed to go the same route. We dont have a "bad'one in the family. We all seem to have the same moral values. None of us are religous....we attended church but dropped out at an early age. All finished school and went on to further our educations to advanced degrees, but in different fields. All but one divorced,after young marriages and made excellent second choices. All have 4 children. No family scandals. All in late 70's now, so dont expect any huge changes.

I had to choose other in the poll

  • 3 votes
#27 - Sat Jul 24, 2010 7:51 AM EDT
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