So happy that your muse awoke! This is a very funny and inventive tale that takes a character mentioned once, very briefly, and creates a feisty, determined and wryly humorous heroine, a fitting sibling to our Newkirk. I love the way her politeness and deference to authority quickly changes to exasperation and confrontation. In contrast, her letters to her brother are both touching and hilarious. And Peter's belated response to her is a terrific use of the prompt!

You wrote a story entirely out of memos, telegraphs and letters - most the very official type - and yet, somehow, you managed to create a engaging, funny and entertaining tale. You excelled at knowing just what information to share, and how to share so that the larger picture of what was happening could be seen in the reader's mind. That takes skill and you pulled it off really, really well.

Also, I'd say that the little details add so much to this story. The ongoing joke about Peter's women. Making it so clear just how slow communication can be by having Mavis report Arnie's death before Peter writes home that he hopes he is found alive. This story is so well thought out.

Finally, those final two letters summed up the story perfect. I laughed out loud. Great job with the one!

While the format of the story was not the standard type, it did not detract from the story at all. It was fun to see the different ways people described the same events to one another. Your decision to leave out poor Lieutenant Newkirk and his family, who were undoubtedly concerned about him as well, also helped the story by giving less of a sense that the people involved had any idea what was going on, especially after Mavis continued to receive updates on Lieutenant Newkirk's status even after the matter was supposedly straightened out.

I enjoyed the presence of Mavis in the story and the fact that she was not about to let anyone think that her brother was dead. Thank you for posting this, and I hope your future writings go well.

"I hope you enjoyed the story in spite of the odd format :o)" No – I enjoyed the story BECAUSE of the odd format :). It's absolutely fantastic and easily one of the best stories I've ever read that does not involve one of the main characters (mostly anyway). I don't know where you dug out all the details of formatting and wording for the telegrams and letters, but it feels absolutely genuine, while the subject is … well, actually pretty realistic, too, in an absurd way. It shows impressively the excesses of bureaucracy, when technicalities become more important than the humans they concern. The implementation of the idea is hilarious (although not for anyone involved). It is funny in a very satisfactory way, how Mavis stubbornly – and very much like her brother – brings the responsible people to the verge of despair, simply by not giving up, although very politely and emphatically requested to do so (that one made me laugh; it's just sooo typical for bureaucrats). The rather formal writing styles (although a lot less polite on the site of the officials when Mavis fails to follow the proper way of things *lol*) underline the amusing absurdity of it all, while the private messages being send around in the background complement the picture with the unofficial – and a lot less polite, though no less amusing – thoughts. And to top it all off: just when you think they should now have managed to sort everything out, it starts all over again. "Do not make me come back to Whitehall." - *lol*

A truly great story. I hope your muse stays active and fruitful.

Oh my, I just loved this! So many little details: Mavis admonishing Peter to not ‘be too mean to your Frenchman’, the ever-changing girl-friends sending their love, and Newkirk’s ‘I’m not dead! Seriously, I’m not’. The barely controlled civility from Baynes was so funny; you could feel the growing tension as they kept exchanging letters. ‘Baynes, you weasel’, had me giggling so hard! :-) The formatting worked very well for this piece. I haven’t read a good epistolary story for a while, and they can often be full of boring self-reflection, but the pacing here was great. You gave us the right amount of background information, adding depth to the story with glimpses of reality (Arnie and Sally) amongst the humour, but kept it simple enough that we could easily follow the various correspondents. At first I thought this was a talented Newbie since I didn’t recognise the cover image, and I’m terribly unobservant. Oops. Thanks for coming back and writing this delightful story!

Welcome back! This is absolutely wonderful. I love it when authors take on this format. Your portrayal of British understatement is spot-on. "There indeed appears to be some kind of irregularity." You write Mavis with both intelligence and spunk.

This reminds me of a MASH episode where Hawkeye is inadvertently declared dead, and sadly, his father is notified. But, at least in this story, Mavis knows there has to be a mistake, and her back and forth between the two offices brightened my day.

I have read some of your older stories, and I love your artwork…so as a comparatively new author on this site, it is really nice to see you post a new story! Welcome back! There is so much to love about this story it’s hard to know where to start. I guess my favorite thing is the fact that it is so REAL. I mean, poor Mavis…caught up in such a staid, rigid and ridiculous circumstance…what the BBC might term “A Very British Problem,” I suppose. One has been proclaimed dead by the higher ups, so one is dead, thank you very much. Your formatting style was quite unique, and the dialogue was just hilarious. Definitely going on my favorites list…

Oh, my goodness, this was incredible. I love the way you formated it. The letters back and forth between Mavis and the Bureaucrats about killed me, but the memos between the two Bureaucrats eventually did me in. You capture the worry in Mavis' letters to Peter very well. She knows he's okay, but then that little bit of doubt sneaks in and she needs a bit of reassurance. Just perfect! I'm also keeping my fingers crossed for more stories from you, especially if they are as original as this one.

Loved it! Go Mavis! I hope your muse is all fired up!

I would imagine nothing less from a sister of Newkirk to act the way you have written. Love the interaction between her and the war office. The format worked perfectly for this story. Keep them coming!

Welcome back. Epistolatory is always hard to pull off, especially when there are multiple contributors. You've managed not only to give all of your correspondents their own voice, but to differentiate between the official and unofficial styles of the office bods. A hilarious idea, carried through excellently well.

This was fantastic! Such a great premise and a perfect execution! Mavis is such a character, especially since she was only ever mentioned and never actually seen! This is exactly how I imagine she would handle this sort of situation and your take on her was absolutely delightful. The correspondence was perfect and a unique way of presenting it! I'm so glad to see your muse return and hope this isn't a single event! You have such a talent for words. Thank you so much for sharing!

You choose the perfect format to highlight the amusing and annoying power of bureaucracy. It's a history lesson in formal letter writing from that time and war bureaucracy and works really well with Mavis fight to set the record straight.
Thank you for writing this great story.

Welcome back Belphegor! This was great - typical war office efficiency, but mavis handles it like a champ. I never doubted her! great job!

This is adorable. The odd format is fine. There's been a recent vogue for stories told via interview and memo. (Check out Sleeping Giants sometime.) I love the interoffice sniping, Peter's amusement, and Mavis's total and complete exasperation with the bureaucrats. Keep writing!