Great

Awsome. The whole thing is an Ardeth tribute. Well written with flowing phrase and in-character conversations. N~I~C~E

I just recently got into "The Mummy" fanfiction and I know I am like three years late from the ending of the actual story. But I LOVED IT! GAH!

The only complaint and it really isn't a complaint, but in some parts it seemed to lag a bit, mostly when the Gods were speaking, but that could just be me.

The drama and suspense was intenst.

~Ani

Here I am again today. I couldn’t help myself. I just had to finish it. More ‘what might have been’ at the beginning and end! So that’s how Senephra came to be from Ardeth and Anck. That entire story was thoroughly interesting, along with the other alternate reality. Your imagination never fails to amaze me. I love the juxtaposition that you’ve woven throughout the story about the what might have been as not as important as the what is. That is a fantastic theme with the way you’ve used it. Loved the baby’s full name! Liked the conclusion with Ramses and Ardath. Great line: “Perhaps forever *was* long enough, after all.” Quick question—in regards to the next great crisis for Ardeth, is that continued in “A Med-jai in Middle Earth”? I have to inquire about your author’s note. You said the next story in this series is called 'Priorities'. Is that actually “Learning Curve”? I somehow managed to finish this story as well! I can go on and on about how great it was and how much of a wonderful writer you are but I’m sure you’re tired of hearing me say so. So glad you wrote and posted this. I have very much enjoyed it as a break from my studies.

Yes, this is so Ardeth, imo: “That violation was his failure, his failure as a man, as a warrior, as a chieftain.” Once again, you do so well with showing others’ pov of an event. I especially liked Ardeth's pov at the beginning when he was brought back. I love that Anck brought him back. This is totally him as well: “Evelyn was still pregnant after all, and he didn't want to leave that mess for her.” I loved this line: "As my wife would say, do not flatter yourself." More what might have been! I would never have considered the possibility of Ardeth and Anck as lovers but that’s not a complaint, more of a “how interesting.” “And have you not forgotten that it was not I who raised Imhotep and the Scorpion King?"-YES! Loved it. I keep pointing out lines that I like but I can’t help it. This chapter is full of them. Here’s another: “but he was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Just as long as it didn't come from another double decker bus.” I think I had the same reaction that Rick had when Ardeth told him that he trusted Imhotep more than him. But, hey, if it’s true. . .Great end to the chapter. Absolutely perfect!

I see what you were talking about in your reply to my review about Celia & Rick being alike. I didn’t really see it until now. I really love that you chose Horus and Isis for this. Knowing the connection between the name Horus and Ardeth in the movie, Horus in Ardeth's room gives me chills. Evy challenging the gods was kinda funny; I guess in the way that she’s crazy enough to do it. Okay, so I griped pretty bad about this all being Rick’s fault but I’m glad that Evy got a rebuke for her curiosity as well in this. However, they won’t make Evy make a promise but they will make Rick make one? I think she should have to as well—even if it’s something along the lines of “I will read to myself what that says but I won’t touch it or open it and I’ll then think twice about whether or not it’s worth it.” But anyhow. . .I was a little bothered that they were upset with Rick saying that nobody talks to his wife that way. I think it’s very natural to be upset if anybody upsets your spouse. To me, that shows love and protection for your spouse. At least, he didn’t blame Ardeth for the gods talking to her that way. ;) I liked how Horus was forcing Rick to experience things through Ardeth's eyes. No complaint but just a thought: Celia first came over to be with Evy during her pregnancy but obviously she got married. Was there a plan B for Evy’s first pregnancy now Celia’s “gone”? I feel like I’m negatively criticizing your work lately but I really only mean to ask about it from my pov of reading. I really do apologize if you think otherwise.

I totally see this in Rick’s personality—“ Hell, until I met Evy, until Alex came into our lives. . .I didn't have any softer feelings." This cracked me up—“’Well, Queen of the Med-jai, what do you suggest?’ One of these days, he would learn not to ask her questions like that. She never hesitated to tell him exactly what he thought, and asking her what she suggested he do was like Evy asking 'what harm ever came from. . .' and fill in the blanks with 'reading a book,' or 'opening the chest,' or anything like that.” Rick says that he’s got to do it his way and that things will be different. Well, it seems like he only does this to Ardeth when there’s some “he’ll wipe out the world” ploy. So, it really won’t be different until there’s another world crisis that involves Ardeth and Rick? ;) From my point of view, it seems that redeeming Anck from the movies would be hard. But I think you’re doing a good job of it, esp. with Anck struggling with Meela’s actions. For some reason, I had this wonderful image of Celia being so mad that she would cast the hom-dai. I’m so glad Isis is getting read to draw this to a close! Help me draw a little connection between this issue. Rick is being taught a lesson because he doesn’t appreciate Ardeth like he should and thinks before he speaks and sometimes reacts. Evy, because she is way too curious for own good, goes about initiating world crises that would have been just fine if she had kept her hands to herself. I realize that one of the gods said that she is naturally curious but I think she’s the one who should be in the most trouble. Rick never enacted a curse that almost destroyed the Med-jai or the entire world. Why isn’t his rash personality not naturally who he is as Evy’s curiosity is just who she is? That all sounds more accusatory than I meant it. I’m just “curious” myself.

You have fics for the Three Musketeers (one of my favorite movies)! Where are they at? Nizam Toth sounds extremely interesting. If he doesn’t show up in this one, I’m sure he’ll show up in another story. I’m so glad it was only false labor. Maybe I just don’t remember since it’s taking me so long to read this fic, but where IS Miranda right now? How’s she taking being away from Celia? Loved this—“God, you know you're screwed when you remember someone trying to kill you with fondness.” I completely wish they’d found another way to punish Rick as well. Really, poor Ardeth, what has he not been through? Evy’s good at making trouble. But then again, if her death didn’t teach him a lesson, I don’t know what will. Alright, I know this is not my story but Rick could have a better reason for not calling a doctor. Even though he didn’t think one could fix it, a doctor could at least advise them on how to get the fever down. Yeah, it’s all orchestrated by the gods but they don’t know that. I think it’s too much of a gamble to not call a doctor. The worse that could happen is what already is happening—nothing helps. Well, anyhow, just a small opinion in the large scope of a great fic.

I could totally imagine Rick whipping around and asking Anck, "You enjoying this, lady?" This was a fantastic line—“This wasn't the first time Ardeth needed him. . .but this would be the first time Rick didn't fail him.” Rick asks the question if this was about him, making himself better, or about taking care of Ardeth. As much as he lashes out at him and takes him for granted, I can’t imagine that the man’s life hanging in the balance would be about anything but Ardeth. I just don’t see Rick as that shallow. His perspective maybe but not who is he is at the core. Liked the little thing with Beni. I am so interested in what happened to Galen and how he’s going to come into their lives. Loved this—“Ardeth certainly had no desire to kill Celia's brother. Although it was tempting to do something permanent to Jason at times.” “he sensed that her stories were designed to teach him something about the woman who was his wife. And something which pertained to the current situation.”—it couldn’t be otherwise. ;) Great chapter!

Like how the first part of this chapter is from Alex’s point of view—good job with keeping the story and your writing fresh. Loved this exchange—“but what are you doing home? You should be in school, sweetheart." "Mum, I can explain everything!" Nice little explanation with the east and west dialogue. Liked that Anck could touch Celia when she needed it. Sorry I’m so slow in reading this right now but that’s the way it seems it’s going to be with class.

It’s so amazing how much stayed the same despite the differences in Hamunaptra and Ahm Shere. But I think the similarities attest to the characters’ personalities. It similar situations, they would still act similarly. Loved this—“There were times in a warrior's life when the most sensible thing to do in a fight was call a truce, or a strategic retreat. Ardeth quickly realized this was one fight he would lose, no matter how dirty he fought, because Celia was equally willing to fight dirty.” This was good too—“I got a cab for us, instead of a double-decker bus". Sorry it’s been a while and will probably continue to be so. Just started my five week German class last week.

I often wondered myself how Ardeth made it to London (esp. since he had never ridden a bus before and a horse wouldn’t have gotten him there in time) when Lock-nah was trying to take the bracelet. Very good idea. I doubt he could have hidden among the workers that made the trip, which was my most plausible explanation. Now we’re getting to the ‘what might have been.’ Wow, the place you went with the possible scenarios. I just can’t get over your creative imagination and the directions it takes you in.

I have decided that Ardeth has a sixth sense that particularly hones in on Evy when she’s in trouble. Those guys disappearing—talk about creepy! And what the Guardian said—how intriguing. You really are too creative for your own good. From Celia’s words to Rick, sounds like she took a lesson from Ardeth—and then some. Miriam for Rick and Evy—what fun! Ardeth naked in a tub—big sigh!

I’m finally here! We finally got moved in the middle of last week and just got Internet yesterday. I meant to reply to your reviews sooner but packing and moving is so time consuming. Thanks for the replies. I was utterly embarrassed that I forgot Jonathan’s line about not being married anymore. Why would he say that if he wasn’t married previously? Good job. I just attributed the way he and Alex were so alike to them being uncle and nephew, but like I’ve said, I prefer your idea to fix the timeline. I read the same fic about Boromir fighting orcs in just a towel. That was a fantastic fic. I corresponded with the author on and off. She finally fixed my complaint about Boromir never really finding redemption (which was the main point of the fic to me) with a one-shot fic that served as an addendum or epilogue. Did you read it? Anyhow, now to the prologue, which this review is about. I couldn’t help but laugh at this because I don’t believe it—“There were no curses, no catches, to the best of Evy's knowledge.” What a way to set up the prologue and then leave us hanging! It’s a shame that I can’t get to the next chapter now!

as usual, you grab the reader and drag her along for the ride ... and a screamin' fine ride it is too . haven't read a lot of mummy fiction, but glad to note that someone finally touched on O'Connell's growing up an orphan. "bare is back without brother" to borrow from one of my favorite writers. and i've wondered about beni's betrayal, first at hamunaptra with the legion and then again ... if rick truly had reason to trust the little annoyance, there must be a back story somewhere ...

well done.

dragon