Awe inspiring certainly even though you feel quite short in the romance department, I do like the idea. Thanks for the great read, hard to find good fanfiction nowadays :)

My first step into quality fanfiction.

Back in 04, when I was reading anything and everything this story really stood out among all others as a piece of lengthy quality fiction.

I'll probably never forget this story.

this story kicked ass.

i loved the plot, the battles/jutsus, the world, the themes, the characters (esp. the relationship between neji and xi, and neji and shiren). You really took Neji and made him into a far stronger, more compelling character than he is in the Kishimoto version-which, frankly, is shit. The way neji is now in part 2, he would have been better off dying against Kidomaru like you thought he did :P

you mentioned in your postscript that the story had some sort of psychological hold on you, that "once you started you couldn't stop". reading the story I had that feeling too. There was a constant sense of tension, of momentum that drove the struggle of these characters forward to the fated finish. It ended even stronger than it started, which isn't an easy achievement. i'm impressed with how you began with a seed of an idea (a dragon ninja!) and made it into such an immense, unified epic along the way.

that being said, I do have some criticisms/suggestions. The first is that "Behind Killer's Eyes" is not polished. you wrote the last five chapters in one day and the whole novel in five months. You're tremendously talented but there is no way anyone can write a polished 150,000 word novel in five months. Take good dialogue, which can be the most memorable part of a story but always takes a lot of time to write. A lot of the dialogue in the novel was, well, kind of lazy. Not bad, exactly, but definitely forgettable. some examples:

end of chapter 7: ""Ah," Neji nodded. "Ah." He said again. "That would be best."

chapter 10: ""Is that all you're capable of?" Ryukin asked with mockery. "I thought Hyuuga was the Leaf's strongest clan. They must be weaker than I thought.""

chapter 26: ""Do you truly expect to beat me?" Neji asked Masan simply. "You're fast, you block kunai, and you hit hard." Masan listed offhandedly. "Not bad, but I can beat that." "Very well," Neji answered. "I suppose I will have to deal with you then."

chapter 46: ""Correct, little weakling!" A lightning ninja emerged from under the cover of tree branches"

chapter 47:" "Time to die!" The Dark Storm raged."

chapter 48: ""This is the end." Xi proclaimed... "I shall not allow this." The Dark Storm replied."

my second major criticism is your villians are, likewise, forgettable. esp. your main villian. I happen to like one-dimensional villians, but they've got to have some cool dialogue or a cool, unique presence, etc., to be memorable. The Dark Storm has neither. all she is is a evil demon that shoots lightning out of her hands and wants to take over the world. That's not cool, that's lame. Tonetero was better; he had a genuinely scary, psychopathic presence. so was Mizain Seve and his genuinely scary (and inspired) ability to turn water on fire. alternatively, you could have tried to make the Dark Storm three-dimensional, more like Xi than Tontetero. maybe you could have added a backstory, like how and why she sold her soul to a demon, and who she was that before that. As it is she certainly didn't cause any of the protaganists to question their actions.

So that would be the two suggestions I would make: spend more time on editing and rewriting, and spend more time on making compelling villains. i realize you wrote this story like 6 years ago, and yeah it's just a fanfiction, so I dunno if these criticisms apply to your other stories. I'm looking forwarding to reading them to find out.

thanks for writing "Behind Killer's Eyes," i really enjoyed it.

Thank you.

Tsunade doesn't use Henge. Otherwise it would fade away whenever she fell asleep.

I am in chapter 32-34 and I like a lot the story which is serious and well worked. I like the personality of Neji which isn't OCC because you began this story before Naruto Next Gen, before chapter 234. I prefered this Neji than Neji Next Gen who seems me too nice, too tender.

The fights between the genins in this story are quiet interesing and not boring.

I like the cursed genin Gosain and some characters invented by you.

Here, ended my review and my next review will speak about the story itself and, I hope, more developped.

Bien à vous

I just finished the chapter 3 and I love a lot your fic which is different of the anothers fanfics about Neji. Really Amazing!

You write very well and fluid and if I am a french reader, I can understand your story desite of some words unknown from me. Xi seems be an interessant ninja and isn't, thank god, a Gary sue. You works well on him because he is an powerful but fiery ninja and his study is classic.

Unfortunely, I cannot continue to read your fanfic tomorrow because I am going to the holidays. But when I return in my home, I will certainly continue to read your story.

Sorry if my english is confused and poor. I hope you will appreciate it.

Bien à vous (or kind regards)

The premise of this story is rather cheesy, but I have to say I am impressed. You finished a 150k complete, decently written and plotted story in the span of 5 months or so-as a side project. I suspect even many professional writers would have a hard time pulling that one off.

"Behind Killer's Eyes" is clearly one of the best dramatic Naruto fanfictions ever created, though I suppose that's not saying much. The fact that this story has only has 123 reviews (counting this one) versus the bajillion views of what can only be called Pieces Of Shit Masquerading as Fanfiction is absoluting damning, and a more sweeping indictment of the fandom community could not be had. More importantly, "Behind Killer's Eyes" is a good story in its own right, and I would dare say it remains as such even indepedent of the original source material.

In any case, I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future, and perhaps you might try a hand at original fiction, or at least a fanfiction world that is more worthy of your talents. I'm a fan of Naruto, but all the same I'll be the first to admit the universe has about as much depth as a puddle of water. Even the greatest painter is necessarily limited by the canvas on which he works. Even Michaelangelo couldn't do much with a piece of tissue paper. But oh what he could do with the Sistine Chapel! For writers, there is no limit to what they can do-only the limits of their imagination, and of course the restraints that they set upon themselves.

-torrent495

I made it through this a long time ago, but just got my fanfic account a while ago (and you wouldn't take anonymous reviews!). So.. from what I remember, I was totally impressed with the detail and the jutsus, even though I tend to like character studies over huge epic plot driven things. The dragon ninja are exceptionally cool, and I think the ethic (not quite the word I was looking for but it'll do) fits Neji well. I love the dragons, and your take on the Hidden Village of Waterfall, which is indeed much (much) cooler than the one in the Jump Festa (to the point where I wish they would let you design villages and so on when Kishimoto does not).

I also remember that you didn't have very many reviews for such a long and awesome story and that it took me a long time of seeing it pop up before I actually read it. Which is because your summary sucked! ;) In any case.. I've fallen behind on the Akatsuki story which is unfortunate because it was worth the read (for some reason I keep missing it in the new fics list) but can't read it right now.. *sigh* later.

wow. great fanfic. i havent read this in many months. i never expected it to be this long. but ur story was amazing. hope u write ur next story even better. if u dont mind i would like to read ur story The Diamond Swords. my email is lei_dian thanks (_)v

Well... you might not plan on writing a sequel ever, but I think I, like many readers, would like it if you would. Your story has definitely been solid and well-written, though my personal preference for it would have involved more depth to minor characters, but with such a large cast, more depth beyond what you gave them would have been unlikely.

This has simply been a great fanfiction, almost certainly without equal.

_

Your depiction of any non-Konoha Hidden Village is definitely the best I have ever seen anywhere (even when things aren't all peachy...) and I'm glad that Gosain hasn't dropped completely out of the picture yet.

As for the Neji and Shiren romance, it's well-done enough, though being that the story is definitely not focused on such aspects, it's realistically done.

Again, this is one of the best and most solid fics archived here.

_

Though your story has long since been finished, I came upon it through being interested at the summary of your new fic about Gosain. (I've always been more interested in OC-based stories when they're written well and above all, interesting.) Your writing style was a bit hard to take in all at once, especially in the first handful of chapters, but that's a negligible flaw I see that's really gone away by the time I've hit Chapter 33. Otherwise, it's a very intriguing story, and I like it a lot.

_

T_T this is a great story! so far... ill finish this bi tomarra... ;;

This is one of the best Neji stories i hav read!