Well, Acar finally got his comeuppance, didn't he? A while later, but yes, he finally did...

Well done!

Aw, man! Not good...

Quite an intense moment there. Very well done.

Ops. Not good.

Heheh..."Just because I've lived in England all my life doesn't mean I can't kill someone." I saw what you did there =)

And we meet Mikhail the Druze! =) This really is a lovely story. I love how hopeful Ali is, just praying that he can stay with Mahmoud...and I like the mentions of the elder generation of Hughenforts; we heard so little of them except to note successions and such. I think this is going on the favorites list. =)

I like it, very much! I absolutely love how Marsh's insisting that Ali use 'Mahmoud' is the mirror image of when he insists that Russell and Holmes NOT call him 'Mahmoud'. I had to smile when Ali complained that his new clothes were 'dull'-apparently Ali has always preferred his showy colors!

Lovely to see a young Ali, when this was all very new to him. Your last line is perfect. "A week here, and I am home." Love it. They may have been born in Barkshire but their souls are of Palestine...

Wow...I have been commanded, lol. You already know what I think about your story! I love it to pieces! And poor Mahmoud...ouch. (Of course, poor Ali is next, I'm betting.) It's a fabulous story, everything I've come to expect from ya. :D Keep it up! Darn me for teaching you the way of the cliffhanger...Update soon!

i like your new view of the Hazr brothers. i have just one nitpicky thing to point out, which is a spelling error.

you said:

"They traveled all day, but never in a strait line"

it should be spelled "straight"

This is great! I still love this- do keep updating...I'm really finding this a fascinating idea! I wanna know what happens next! How do you keep them in character so well? Any tips?

Es

xx

It may have been short, but it was really good. Full of tension, this chapter really moves the story forward to a daring rescue of Mahmoud (at least, I think it will be daring, lol). You've captured Ali's character wonderfully and made one for Mikhail which fits perfectly into the story. Can't wait until the next comes out!

Once again, you've written a great chapter! This one is particularily action-packed, and I especially liked the way that you passed the time, mentioning off-hand Mahmoud's marriage to Iris. The end was also very well-written, the way that you have the Turks carrying away Mahmoud while Ali lays unconscious on the sand - very dramatic. I'll be eagerly awaiting the next installment! :-)

Awesome stuff you've written here. You carry much of the story on the dialogue, which is excellently written. The story could use a tad more description, but otherwise it's great. :-)

Another great chapter! I like the way that you had Mahmoud give Ali the famous knife and are leading up to what I think is Mahmoud's capture and torture by the Turks. Off to read the next! :-)

Nicely written chapter. You've got the characters down now for sure - especially Ali's impulsive nature and Mahmoud's utter calmness. It was really interesting how you tied this to OJER by adding in Mikhail as well. You've done a wonderful job with this piece!

Beautiful! Keep On!