UPDATE NOW, DANGIT!

lol jk *huggles* I miss you...wish I could have my yahoo thing back, but the comp is too slow. We can still write though, ne? ^_^

I reread the story again, because I miss you, and reviewed again because I know you'll read it :P

Updated GA; people have yelled at me and damned me to hell for reasons you will understand when you read ^^;; I just hope you aren't a Tamahome fan...(if you are, its ok. i still love you; i'll just have to give you the one-four about why he isn't worth your affection. Tasuki, or Chichiri on the other hand...*drools*)

Anyway, enough randomness! It's the cold medicine that's making me say these crazy things! DA! Well...talk to you soon, hopefully! *huggles*

~Amaya-chan

Wow, that was great. I love your writing. It really does pain me to see a great idea expressed as if it was written by a six year old. Good to see such a well done story was written.

I sincerely hope Takiko returns. She and Rimundo are so adorable together! I wish there was more of them. A lot more. =^_^= Miaka and Tamahome have too much attention to themselves, so, let's not spoile them.

It's a good beginning, very good and well-written. I don't know if your beta told you in the first part, but you continuously repeated Okuda Takiko and Okuda Einosuke. Repetition in prose is generally an undesired thing to readers; it doesn't help. Teachers warn against it to. It's okay for poetry, but this isn't poetry. Just thought I'd mention it.

YAY! You're alive! *cheers*

Anyways, I began reading this, thinking it was a Genbu story... And already by the sixthh paragraph Takiko is back in our world? So I'm confused... -_-; And then she dies... And I'm even more lost... *Lulu is wondering what has happened to the story* And then you change course by switching to present day and Taka. So I assumed that there's connection. Until you introduced this Goemon cheracter. *spiral eyes* So finally, I'm seeing the connection!

Anyways, great chapter. Nice way of keeping your audience into the chapter by the twisting plot. *i.e. me..* I like the description, and I have to admit, I was glad when Einosuke tells Takiko that he's proud of her. Oerall, I'm definitely looking forward to this story.

Glad to see you're back, and hope you continue both of your stories!

Cheers..

Wow...a Genbu story with some substance, set in a believable pre-war Japan. I can't tell you how surprised and pleased I was to find this. I've never liked the portrayals of Takiko in fanfiction, and even fewer are good characterizations of Einosuke. Have you ever lived in Japan? You seem more knowledgeable than most about the culture here! In any case, I'll be waiting eagerly for the next installment!

Ahh, I haven't been reading very much fanfiction lately, but while giving the category a quick glance I saw your pen name, and had to take a look at this story. :) It's nice to see you coming back to his (revamped!) Genbu fic!

Cue review (ps, I'm reviewing as I'm reading...):

I feel like your first paragraph is just crammed full of too many adjectives. Maybe cut out a few of those extra words to make it easier to read.

"which gave it an air of ominous seclusion"

Dear Syane,

I imagine that I'm going to be repeating what I've already told you in this review, but I think it bears reiteration.

This is a captivating beginning to what I know is going to be a terrific fic. Everything flows so naturally, from the eloquent, heartrending scene between Einosuke and Takiko, to the domestic tranquility of Taka Sukunami's life, to the rise of a new god of hell. Your prose is poetic and spellbinding; when I first read it I literally couldn't stop to beta, I had to read it all the way through the end...and then again just to savor it, before I could even think of making any edits or corrections. As I told you in our emails, you have a very distinctive and lovely writing style; it's rather formal, but not too much so...just enough to give it a exotic flavor. ^_^ Your plot premise is original and fascinating- and even better developed this time around. (aka, a second coming for The Second Coming! *grins*)

I love your attention to details; the blood red roof, the petals falling as Takiko is dying, and Taka playing with his little boy's blocks are all small but wonderful visual touches, as was the use of the clock tower to tie separate segments together.

Katayama Goemon has paid a high price for wanting vengeance on a god...he's given away his humanity to enter the book. What will happen now, and how will Miaka, Taka and Yui be involved? I can't wait to find out, so keep writing!

With great admiration and affection,

KittyLynne