I almost liked this one, because the characters almost sound like their canon counterparts. But I'm laughing at the thought of Hermione "Hey, let's-mindwipe-my-parents/Confundus-a-teenager-so-my-boyfriend-gets-on-the-Quidditch-team/scar-a-tattle-tale for-life/trap-a-reporter-in-a-glass-cage" Granger getting on ANYONE's case about being mean or vengeful.

And if Harry was angry enough to contemplate using the Cruciatus on Hermione, then he'd have already passed the point where he'd be feeling vindictive enough to fling those transgressions back into Hermione's face during a fight, never mind that those transgressions were usually made for Harry's sake (for feck's sake, that's precisely what he does in HBP-canon when Hermione starts in on him about using lucky potion for Quidditch. Given this fic, you've clearly read HBP, so it's not like you could have missed that part. There's no excuse for this.).

So I actually just find it beyond pathetic that you held back from allowing him to get as snarky and vindictive as he would have in canon during a fight like this, just so your story can read like Hermione's "winning" the argument. It's a flat-out cheat, and it completely destroys the potential this story had as a believable commentary on the problems in canon!Harry's character.

(You'd probably have been better off using another character who HASN'T been as morally-shady as Harry has. Although I suppose it would be tough finding a character who would simultaneously defend Snape in a believable way, AND have as much influence over Harry as Hermione and Ron seem to.)

If you're going to depict an argument between Hermione and Harry where Hermione picks apart Harry's character, at least have the balls to write it out to the full, VERY-ugly extent it would come to. She'd have a lot of material to use against Harry, but Harry would have had just as much material to use against her, and he is NOT nice enough to conveniently forget it just so that he won't hurt her feelings. The fact that he seems to in this fic, makes the whole story seem rather sad - like it's being written by a whiny self-insert just looking to shout at Harry for whatever problems YOU had in canon, without bothering to concern yourself with how Harry would be likely to respond to the accusations.

Great story :) Please update soon!

love it

fascinating, but missing the ending.

I just finished your unbelievably amazing story! I simply l o v e d it! Vivid, witty , funny, sarcastic dialogues! Very original and authentic! Also great development of characters (I fell in love with your Hermione)!

P.S.1 Personally I couldn’t care less for any spelling or grammar mistakes :))

P.S.2 I realize that you haven’t written for a while (btw where are you?) but please, pretty please, come back for us! I can’t wait to find out what happens next!

Thank you so much!

Keep up the brilliant work!

First of all, regarding the author responses - what you could do is write some author's notes at the start of the chapter and explain stuff that people have asked you about.

Onto the fic. I love this. The dialogue is witty, sharp and true to character. Even though you don't say who says what, it's obvious from what's said - I really like this. Hermione in particular is *great*! The ideas are excellent (and very much in line with my thinking) - you're developing them in a believable way.

However, there are some spelling and grammar issues (for which I advise a beta - a lot of people won't read a poorly-spelled fic and thus you lose potential readers, and they are *not* impressed with an I-don't-really-care attitude from the author), and there are a few areas that could be tightened up a little. I'll give you one example:

“Oh, now you resort to rule no 7?" - as this is direct speech, abbreviations suggest a slapdash, lackadaisical approach to writing, which will considerably lower other readers' opinion of your writing; you would be better off writing "...resort to rule number seven?"

I'm really really looking forward to more, so I hope you update soon!

Catching up on old e-mail, I found this alert and am enjoying this story immensely-sort of the Slytherin version of Nick and Nora, I should think. Excellent repartee, well worth the price of admission. Do look up the stories of shiv5468 if you haven't already, she has quite a hand with this sort of thing as well.

You have to update again soon. I love the way Severus acts in this story, it's brilliant! And Hermione, too of course. They work toegether so well. I hope Severus and Hermione continue to work together. I don't remember reading it anywhere, and you'll probably think me stupid for this question, but it is a SS/HG isn't it? I sincerely hope so. Anyway, I love your characters, I love your plot line so far, I love the way your characters talk to each other, and I'm dying for more. So please update soon!

Perfect!

Like this Perfect! I am Brazilian. I don't speak nor a word of English and use translators. Nevertheless, your history was perfect! If you already used translators he will know about what I am speaking...

Forgive this. It is also translated. I don't have as knowing like you he will read him/it. I only hope understands LOVED your history.

Perfect.

Nina

If you didn't still use translators, try babelfish.altavista and something of the Portuguese for English.

You will understand. laughters.

http:/babelfish.

Then it goes to sites and glue:

Then chooses to translate of Portuguese for English. And "Enter".

Voilà!

I'm enjoying this story. The characters might be just a little OOC, but I can live with that. Can't wait to see what happens next. Update soon!

Are you going to list all 100?

If someone really wants an answer they can put their email adress on the review or, if they have their email displayed on their bio, they just make sure they're signed in. Then all they have to do is ask. You can probably get away with the occasional short review response at the end of a chapter but answering everyone there puts you at risk - but ffnet will only catch you if someone reports you.

Wow...I love all the sarcasm and witty remarks inside the fanfic. Humored me greatly.

And as to your author's note in the last chapter, I don't address them either...just to keep to the safe side. I'm as confused on the policy as you are. Sorry.

The fact that Ron constantly calls Hermione "'Mione" is slightly disconcerting, and her agressiveness and eagerness to pick a fight with Harry seems out of character. But other than those minor details, I adore this story! The dialogue is wonderful...snappy, sparkly, and brilliant. Great job!

Thank you so much for this story. I am loving the banter between Hermione & Snape. Keep it up and I look forward to much more very soon. Thanks!

this is brilliant!