It's been awhile since I saw 'Brokeback Mountain', and I was surprised by how much I enjoyed 'Human Interest'. I guess there always were 'could have been' scenarios from that film. In any case, I enjoyed spending time with Jack and Ennis again, and wishing they had had such a 'feel-good' ending to their story. Great story!

This story is how Brokeback Mountain should have ended, its my new headcannon and its glorious! I love the relationship between Ennis and Jack. And I also adore Liz!

What? You killed Bobby off your story? Why? That's not fair.I always thought Bobby and Jack have a good relationship, it would have been nice if we got to see more of the father and son in the story.

Ok

Lori, i am now finished with reading your Human Interest story.
I have to say that i feel it was really nice up to Jack's beating. Apart from Ennis' talking (as mentioned) E&J; interactions were great, their teasing, their love and tenderness - all great stuff! Upon reading of Bobby's death i thought 'wow, Madlori has guts to do some really bold decisions for the story'! Upon Jack's affair in Texas i was laughing out loud in the middle of the night, on the other end of the world, in 2017 (!) in sweet anticipation of what will come next! Ennis' way of handling the issue was really spot on and rang true. His struggles were written very nicely...
But then came Jack's beating which somehow felt not necessary... and then came Ennis' epiphany (it was still very fine at his "i don't know how to fight for him" while looking at this finger) and his change towards lots and lots of "coming out" towards everyone - and it somehow just felt so wrong... I could not enjoy the story much anymore. I just feel that Ennis would never be able to "come out" in the way you've written it because i think he doesn't need to do so. People do not change like this... I just don't buy it ;).
Also, at the beginning i think you did balance J&E;' masculinities quite well, but in the course of the story one progressively gets the subconscious feeling that Jack is attributed with female-like features / traits and i don't enjoy it because it starts to fit a stereotype. For example, why is it always Ennis who holds Jack? Why is it always Jack who's nasty? Why is it always Ennis who likes Jack's physics? Why is it always Ennis who is the scary protective one? I don't know, there is some kind of undercurrent vibe that was not to my likes..
But anyway, i otherwise enjoyed the story a lot and i would like to thank you for your efforts with it! It surely helps a fresh Brokie still in the grieving stage to get over the heavy feelings :).

Hey, Lori!
So, you wrote this story more than 10 years ago, but you should know that here is a new "virgin" Brokie coming to read it after all this time. And i am sure i will not be the last one because the story of Ennis and Jack is of eternal nature, it will never, never grow old, there will be always new people joining the love, passion,.. hurt ;(,.. hope..

I read some fanfic for BBM now (although quite late and still hesitant) and lots of it describes their making out for me in a rather repulsive way. Too much unnecessary details... too much of EVERYthing... It makes me feel very uncomfortable and the reason is NOT the fact that they are gay and that this is all gay sex (while me being straight - as far as i know..), but the fact that the descriptions intrude on their privacy. I want to say that you actually put my thoughts and feelings in words when you described how Liz felt about it. It just fits my own hunnertprcent! Yes, i don't know much about gay sex and somewhere i am curious, but i think the movie and the short story had a very private feel to them, as if the audience was peeking on Ennis' and Jack's extremely intimate moments which should belong to them only and for me - i liked it that way.

Actually, the movie (especially, due to visuals of great acting) did a great job in showing their LOVE and TENDERNESS as opposed to just passion - and this is what i liked about it most. The way E&J; interact with each other (even at the last scene at the lake during the fighting), tease each other, those little looks they give each other, the way they touch (think of the way Jack holds Ennis' neck after the hug after he drives up after the divorce) - it all just screams 'I Love You, you are the most precious treasure of my heart'! Even during their roughest sex encounter in FNIT Ennis reaches out to Jack to hold his arm, to soothe him as he punches the ground. For me their making out was never about rough play with some roles attached, but more about loving and caring for each other, make the other feel good - and make sure of it while at it. Sure, it was not always perfect due to Ennis' repressed nature, but Jack always understood Ennis' struggles and Ennis always felt being understood. (This is all my personal believe and perception.)

What i want to say with all of this is that most BBM fanfic lacks this tenderness that i love so much. This little small bit of your "Jack exhaled and propped himself on his elbows, pressing the flats of his hands to the sides of Ennis’s face. “You okay, cowboy?” he whispered." THIS! Exactly what i was missing SO much! It makes my heart all warm and melting... You wrote this chapter with exactly the right feeling (for me) without being too sentimental, with just the right amount of details. So, thank you, i guess :D.

The only thing that troubles me (as other posters pointed out, too) is the way Ennis is talking. I understand your reasoning that he would become more talkative the more he lived with Jack together, but for me (too) it is part of Ennis' character trait that he does not talk much and that if he talks, that his sentences / words are somewhat off, like he's not used to forming perfect ones. For me it is part of his charm, what makes him so attractive. So, if you write him saying "I won’t never be able to look her in the face again”, it takes away a great deal of it. Actually, this sentence (just one example) could have been said by anybody, it kind of feels like there is no Ennis in it anymore. I hope you understand what i mean... The nature of the character feels somewhat lost there. I'd rather read a sentence totally out of context and know in an instant that this is Ennis who is talking.

Oh, well, but who am i to say this.. I'm not a writer at all, English not even being my mother tongue!
Hope you still receive and can read this message after all this time because i like your story quite a lot :). All that precious interaction and teasing between E&J; is so spot on, it makes me feel their love so much. Just - thank you!

Now I know why this fic has a lot of reviews. Although its been obvious because of the previous chapters, I think its your art of storytelling, which is so unique. My review might have been very late since this was completed 11 years ago, but I have no regrets at all. You got me hooked for the last three days I barely slept reading it. I look forward to reading the sequel. Character development was spot on, as I have said on many fics before, but this one tops the list so far. Well-written with the right amount of elements. Thank you for bringing the star crossed lovers into life and giving justice to the wonderful story Proulx brough to us. I can't thank you enough.

Ennis and Jack aside, I really like how Lizzie is developing. Yes, she is an added character, but you gave her justice. I wonder what will happen if she isn't there for Ennis (oh no) . I was at the edge while reading the Bobby Twist arc. Thank you again for this fic! Again, it is indeed a masterpiece.

my previous comment is intended for chapter 8 (oops)

I rarely comment at the middle of a fanfic, but I can't hold it any longer! Your take on the story is a masterpiece, and hearing that you are a professional writer made me feel inspired to write. It is both fun and exciting to read and I cannot stop swiping my phone for the next chapter. Thank you very much for sharing your talent and let me be excused since I still have many chapters to read

Sad day for me that I started this at 10 o'clock at night and now it's gone midnight and my eyes're too fulla grit to keep going. This is SO GOOD so far and my heart is warm and achey by turns. Can't wait to read the rest of it!

Even though you wrote this a number of years before Performance in a leading role, it's just as amazingly written. I was almost expecting to be able to pick something apart that you did better in your later work, but I can't find fault with this story at all. I hope you don't mind a review on a ten years old fic, but I was really moved by this story.

Perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect! Oh, you're such a fantastic writer. This is so beautifully crafted, so touching and so compelling - I just didn't want it to stop! I have no words. Thank you for sharing this with us.

That was fucking amazing, like oh my god, bravo, my favourite fan fiction of all time. The perfect balance of everything.

Total enjoyment. Thenk you for the excellent storytelling. You are a beautiful writer.