I really feel like this fic could use at least one more chapter- maybe Charlie being woken by a Don-nightmare, and having to deal with Don being frantic to make sure he's alive.

I loved your story. The characterization was on point, the action and drama and angst were nicely placed, it sounded like a real episode of Numb3rs and that is amazing.

Narrh, This should have been a deathfic. He went awhile without oxygen. U should write an alternated ending where he did die.

3 That's all I can say. The ending was perfect.

Your story had many wonderful elements in it. I liked that Don didn't get all mad about Charlie not telling him that the two were working on the same case. And, I thought how funny it was when Don just laid down in the parking lot with his brother and waited for the cavalry to come. :)
You handled the attack on Charlie quite nicely, and the end line was sweet. Thanks for writing this.

Wow, I absolutely love this story! The last chapter actually made me cry - which usually isn't too hard to do, but it's one of about 3 fanfics that i've cried at, so well done!

great scary note, and good descriptions to.

This was incredible! There was so much action and danger and emotion in this. I love it! Thank you so much writing this. I will admit that there were times I had to take a break from reading this because it was so intense, but I still love it. "Normal is only a setting on a washing machine."

-Raven

Wow. That's all I can think to say. Wow.

I am an avid reader-have been since I was a small child-and have read all different types of literature from various well known and not so well known authors over the years.

And I have never read a piece that riveted me as much as yours did.

I found it this morning, and started to read it. I got delayed somewhere in the second chapter, a good thing, seeing as how as soon as I came back to it I remained glued to my computer until my eyes hit "The End".

You did such an excellent job of portraying the characters, and keeping them true to their established personalities and behaviors while using such detail and description that I felt like I was watching an episode of the show-except that it was far better than any episode they've ever made, which is saying a lot coming from me. Would you please become a writer for the show, please?

I just want to say thank you. Thank you for sharing your incredible gift and imagination. I was completely pulled in and entranced from beginning to end, and for a little while there, you REALLY had me believing that Charlie was going to stay dead, you were that good.

I don't give praise lightly, and I never bother to write this detailed a review, so I hope I'm conveying my sincerity here. Not that one reader's opinion should have much impact on your opinions of your work anyway, but if it does, please know that your work is excellent.

I have but one request:

Please keep writing! More, just like this one, but different! :)

Thank you again, and congratulations on an incredible talent for the written word.

(now please excuse this review's incredible length and get back to whatever more important things you were doing. Hopefully writing...)

i am lovin the story so far but are u goin au and having charlie with a car other than a prius? bc u cannot hotwire a prius

Excellent story. Even with the few typos here and there, this was very well written. I hope you wrote a sequel!

Thanks, Beth

Oh my goodness, I think I love you. That was one hell of a story. I just... wow. You write like a pro, the characters were spot on, Charlie was awesome, Don was awesome, Megan was awesome. The brotherly love was just perfect, I was pleasantly surprised to find there was no cheesy lines like a lot of fanfic on here and instead the 'bromance' was very very realistic and adorable.

And the plot was so good. It was different to the usual Charlie-is-in-danger kind of fics. And everything was so detailed, so well thought out and well written. I couldn't stop reading and damn, you are a genius.

I've neglected sleeping to finish reading, so I will stop rambling and go to bed now :)

Thank you, Fabs x

This has got the makings of a great story, and your overall story telling is pretty good, but I've had to give up at this point, because there's plot details that just don't make sense in terms of a story set in the law enforcement world.

Don's just caught the guy after he's killed Bradley's family act and started running after him. I don't understand why Don doesn't shoot him shoot him, which seems the more logical course of action considering how far away Don is and how dangerous this bloke is, instead of letting him get away.

It seemed to me that it took way too long for them to notice the pattern of them all being attacked at 7 am.

Wouldn't Megan or Don have called the police/FBI for back up at Charlie's house, once he'd been threatened after the guy attacked Don? It's quite possible that someone could have taken less than 15 minutes to get there.

They knew that the attacker was possibly targeting Don ("I didn't know that you had a younger brother") - it doesn't make sense to me that none of the family had protection of any sort.

Keep writing, you definitely have the makings of a great author, particularly considering how young you are. From your writing, I wouldn't have picked you to still be in high school - your writing reads at a much higher level than that.

Another stellar chapter, my good fellow ;)love the Don and Charlie action as always, a constant reminder of what the show is missing 95% of the time :P the description of their attacks and subsequent injuries continue to make me grimace in sympathy, you make it easy to picture... and what better way to end it than shock and concern from our friendly neighbourhood Jewish father? ;) curious about the whispering voices... looking forward to more suspense :D

Your punctuation is a little idiosyncratic and the run-on sentences tend to confuse me, so it took me a while to get into the story. But your plot's good enough to make up for it-nice job overall, a fun read. And Alan got to be a hero! That doesn't happen often enough. *grins*