Hi~

Good chapter :)

Good actions, good reactions, good formatting, good plot, etc :P

Mm... regarding commas and quotation marks:

"Hello," she said.

Commas inside, nice and buckled up for the ride ^^

Thanks for the chapter :)

-Iris.D

p.s. Hope I don't sound like a pratronising cow _

Sorry if I do ^^;

So far I've been able to read this chapter. And I will keep reading to know what his dreams mean. Hope you update soon.

First thing- Kakashi's book is orange! (sorry, I'm a huge Kakashi fan -^^-)...lol

I've never actually read a fic where Naruto is a totally insensitive jerk (well, maybe I have, but this is the first one that made me wanna throttle him!)...

Poor Sasuke...

Looking forward to next update~!

+story alert~!

Another good chapter- although, another few mistakes. Maybe you should get a beta? :D

With the bit where he was asking Kakashi for advice, don't rush that bit. Try and play it out in your mind, and write every second of it. Add in random phrases that describe the mood...

;)

That's not bad for a first...pretty high quality,apart from a few mistakes- but no one's perfect~

Now for constructive critism!

At the beginning, the intro kinda bit, it would've been more effective if you lined (lined? haha) it all out, i.e.:

He watches.

He watches during the day when not a soul is there to see.

He watches.

He watches when the light that could relieve everything disappears and the darkness and shadows make the impossible possible.

He’s where you least expect him and whom you trust the most. We know him and others fear him.

Can you tell me who he is? …I didn’t think so.

- and that last line kinda ruins the effect of the lines before. The watching ones. Maybe just a simple 'who is he?' would do?

-

Sakura calls Sasuke 'Sasuke-kun', and Sasuke never talks that much -^^- (but this is fanfiction, so...hehe.../sweatdrop/)

I'm sure you meant, instead of 'Good more Sasuke-san', 'Good morning Sasuke-kun'...?

-apart from those, there were a few spelling errors, etc. But all in all, it was good.

Thanks for the story- onto the second chapter~!