Dear Author

Interesting one shot.

The quality is pretty good. Good narration, dialog, drama, emotion and suspense. Some things need work, but I’ll explain in a private message.

The conversation between Iroh and Bumi fit their characters pretty well. The flashback was pretty good too. What was Iroh like in his youth is a mystery, and open for speculation. I’ve had my own opinions on what he was like; but yours is believable.

The flashbacks had drama and suspense. What Iroh was like was intense; ruthless and made mistakes similar to Zuko. And it took tragedy to rock him, and makes him realize his sin and the sins of the Fire Nation.

The wholesome standards are high.

The language is clean.

Nothing is suggestively offensive.

No extreme violence or any other vile content.

I hope this review brightens your day. God bless.

Data Seeker

Once again, your writing is style is incredible. This was really sad, and touching at the same time. It was scary how much Iroh used to be like Ozai.

all i can muster is wow. That really does explain everything about Iroh. If we ever find out how his son died, i doubt it will be far from what you wrote.

I took out the caps and the excess eclamation points. Please tell me if there's more i can do to improve this story. Thank you

I love the content of this story. This idea is really great because it shows what a dual nature Iroh had, and how far he's come since his days as a war general. The title is pure brilliance. However...

Your syntax distracted me a bit. A few suggestions: don't use so many caps in your writing. There are other ways to express anger/excitment. Going along with that, one exclamation point is good enough. More looks like something off of a message board. I hope you consider these comments. It's a good story, but I think that it could be a really great story without these distracting features.

The writing was buetiful and I love the idea of Iroh being diffrent on the battle field. However I think this was very OOC for Iroh (But thats just me nitpicking.) Love this fic. :)

very moving. well written!