Such a twisty tale. I loved it. Too bad they couldn't be together in the end. Thanks for writing!

Is there a second part?! The cliff hanger is too much!

Wow... i know many people have said if before but wow...
I kind of hate open endings like that, they make me so... GAH! JUST TELL ME HE MADE IT OUT ALIVE!
Amazing fic! Fascinating that you know so much about the world of conmen too...
Only concrit i have to say is that it might have been nice to have it split up into different chapters because it's very long to read in one go (as you wish to do because it's so good, but still)
Chapters wouldn't hurt. Other than that, i really loved it! Goes in my favs! As do you. )

with the 21 bruses thing, did you realise that 13821 or was that accidental and i'm just over thinking it.

Simply.
Whoa.

I loved your writing3

But really. Whoa.

Amazing.

I rarely ever comment on stories but this was so enthralling that I saved the story when I was half way through reading. You have definite talent and I envy the way you owned the characters. However, (there is always a however but don't worry this isn't a bad however) I knew that Roxas was a Harrowgate. As soon as Roxas walked away while Axel was watching I knew. And it was too convient that he stopped the principal before he's last name was said. I kept telling Axel, he is not what he appears to be. I know nothing about con artists other than a healthily small obsession with Ocean's Eleven so you managed to teach me as well and draw me into the story.

But this left me breathless at the end. Because Roxas would want Axel to run but that has never been Axel's style. Thank you for writing this an giving me hope that there are still competent writer's around.

I know that you wrote this back in 2008 so you probably don't check back too often, but still thank you.

This is sooo good and really long which I like...Keep it up!

Brilliant plot, I really didn't see that end coming.

I love your writing style; very eloquent but easy to read. It set the scene very well in my mind's eye.

The characterisation was good as well, the way you portrayed the two's relationship of desperately wanting to trust, but not quite believing it.

Oh my god, that was amazing! Seriously, that was great!

I want to say so much, but I'm still so upset after that ending that I'm afraid it would be too incoherent to read. XD Damnit, I feel something long and incoherent coming anyway.

I look at the reviews and I can't help but to agree. Your writing is absolutely superb. Present tense has always bothered me, probably because it's so difficult to write that flaws are abundant in most stories where it's used. You write it flawlessly. I didn't even notice until I read a review mentioning it.

I have really never before read such an amazing KH story, with an Axel that was so Axel that I feel you should be writing the canon. *Leers suspiciously at you* Are you?

And I don't know if I should thank you or curse you for reminding me of how much of a bastard Roxas really is. Roxas, who I used to loathe for how he acts in the game. _ Despite reading AkuRoku I never really thought he deserved Axel. Lately however, I realise I've been brainwashed by Rokulover-fiction. But, finally someone who doesn't make Roxas into something fluffy and innocent and cute and-... -Sora-! x_x Thank you! ... Darn you! ... Urm. Dank you? x_X;;

But! Something I noticed noone else was curious about, that I think is important for deciding just how much of an ass Roxas was (poor lil' heir or no)was the plane crash. Did -he- crash that plane just for the scam or was it Saïx overdoing it and the anger Axel saw was real?

Also, I'm curious... For me it feels as if Roxas giving Axel the opportunity to run might have been triggered by something in their last conversation. Would he really have done the same if Axel had still been oblivious? Would he have told him anything if not confronted by un-oblivious Axel? Why not claim to have killed Axel and dumped him in the bay himself if he was planning to save him anyway? But on the other hand, if he was planning to kill him, why not shoot him in that hotelroom?

Hmm.

So many questions I probably will never get answered.

And I'll be suffering the effects of this fanfic for at least a week. x_x I might even remember and suddenly start brooding on it again and again, for years to come, as I have with some stories. Because, greatly written and very fitting as it was, I did not -like- that ending one bit. -.- Also I don't like surprises - Now I have to re-read and study Roxas' behaviour closer to see when my spider senses should have started tingling and saved me from the heartbreak of Roxas' lies and deceit.

But don't take my whining at the end here as criticism towards your story. ;) The fact that I was duped, and feel so strongly for both your Axel and Roxas that I'm now crushed, really proves how well-written this story, their characters and their relationship was.

_ Thank you for an amazing read and sorry for the probable incoherence!(At these times I want so badly to blame english not being my mother-tongue, but that excuse kind of lost its validity about eight years into knowing the language. XD)

This is such a good story and it deserves way more reviews.

I loved pretty much everything about this story. The way you write is amazing.

The best story I've read on this site. Period. Actually, one of the best stories I've read, EVER. I hope you know how truly amazing this was.

I could tell something was off about Roxas, but to find he's a Harrowgate... I think you threw ALL of us for a loop with that one.

I would adore a sequel, but I also feel (no, don't say it! DX) that it would probably slightly ruin the mystique of this one.

And the unspoken feelings between Roxas and Axel.. it was there, but it was twisted. And I loved every second of it. Faving story, faving you.

Please keep writing, it keeps the ponies and butterflies alive.

Woah, this was crazy-intense, and really, really beautifully written. Major props :D

This was amazing. Excellent writing, characterization, and plot twists make it worth reading more than once. I love the voice, but I almost feel like it would be better in the first person. I'm usually against use of first person, especially first person present tense, because as you probably know, the first person is the most difficult to write well, and present tense is harder to do consistently without running into problems of tense shift. Good job avoiding tense issues, and actually writing a story in the present tense that was such a joy to read. Generally, I can't stand present tense (again, it's hard to do well). Honestly, this story is better than a lot of the stories I've read in fiction workshops. However, I do feel like it might be better in first person, just because it is such a close third and you run into some pronoun confusion. Which he are we talking about?

Over all, great job. Although I still want more. I don't want it to end, and I don't want it to end like that. Although the fact I'm having such an emotional reaction to it probably means it's perfect. Although, I wish there could have been a bit more of Axel and Roxas's relationship. Like a first last kiss, what does Axel have to lose?

Anyway, great story.

this was really good, with a perfect ending. i didn't even expect it, and i can, usually, get the jist of everything. i was reading and after Saix was dead i was all "ok, so why's it not over?" and then the story came into light and my eyes were wide and i was barely breathing while reading it

meaning it went WAY /beyond/ any and every expectaion for it.

completely awesome, I'd say write a sequel but...-shrugs- that'd be kinda hard.

~Evelynn