Oh my gosh NOSEBLEED ALERT! I loved it! The way you write smut is so awesome!

Oh my goodness, that was one of the best one-shots I've ever read. I absolutely loved the way you incorporated the other Akatsuki into this. I can just imagine their faces when they heard all that!

You should do one where Deidara's the top since he could do all sorts of wonderful things to Itachi with those hands of his. I really liked your story though.

AMAZING.

smexy~

poor pein, kisame, and hidan.

you should make this a chapter story but I really love lemon this one was good

aw.

loved it.

AH!

hotness XD

must...save...now...FUCK!

lol! I love it! XD

Holy shit, nosebleed. WRITE!

Wow, great story... it reminds me a lot of... MINE! Way to be original.

I LOVE IT! It was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! Just one thing. For lemons with deidei-chan in them I personally LOVE when his hands get involved. It's just so HOT!

Nya~! so cute!

W I LOVED this. great story and great lemon. My eyes lingered in "Yours Forever" for like 10 minutes

GO YOU! THAT WAS SO FREAKIN AWESOME! LOL I THINK ITADEI IS THE BEST COUPLE.. ALONG WITH NEJIGAARA WHOOT WHOOT!

ok, i hate to sound harsh, but i'm just trying to point out some stuff to help u become a better writer down the line.

- the first thing i would suggest is a beta; the typo's really ruin the flow of a story and make u pause and think, huh did they mean this word or this word. all that constant stopping makes it hard to enjoy the story itself.

- the second thing i would suggest is that if as u say ur trying to compete with all the yaoi u've read and that they've inspired u is to not copy from them directly, or only changing the words here and there and adding in a bit of ur own stuff or changing a few things to cover it up. i can report this story for the countless times it copies "the new recruit" by badkittyitachi almost word for word at some points. its one thing to want to aspire to a writer's style or b inspired by a writers work, but another to directly take from their stories which they worked so hard on. it makes u look bad and it hurts the person u took it from, and that's no way to respect a writer u admire. which flows into my third and last suggestion...

- ... try and find a style of ur own. its wonderfully flattering to b the source of inspiration for another writer, but inspiration is different from flat out plagiarizing. find a style that suits u, and who u r, and u'll often find the words just flow from u. its about being original, and if a person inspires u, trying to incorporate what u like about them into ur work, without actually copying them. b u, and write stories from urself, not a copy-cat.

its not bad for a first story, but seeing how much u copied another writer makes me question how much of it is really ur work, and how much is other people's hard work edited around to ur liking. so i can't really say much else right now about ur story. all i can say is that i hope u don't copy anyone else in the future and that u find ur own style.