nt bad, but wld like 2 see some more development in sokka n toph r/ship. cheers.

CONTINUE 8U

IC?

wasn't Sokka supposed tell Toph why it was okay/good for him to leave Suki for a while? please, tell us!

anyway, good story so far. Toph's a little OOC sometimes but still okay, anyway.

Too lazy to log in. :)

I really enjoyed this chapter - it was great to see what went on with Musaku four years prior to the story! I really didn't see this story going in this direction, but I love it. ;D

And oh Iroh... of course they'll realize it soon enough. I enjoyed his cameo.

Great job, per usual! I can't wait for more!

Liz

I actually liked it a lot. Your descriptions are good and your plot is kinda makin me curious. Why didn't Sokka and Suki get together if he was there all that time? Yeah i get that this is a Tokka fic but you need to explain that bit a bit more. Keep up the good work and if you don't keep updating I will very mad at you. :-P

It might not be the best story ever, but I do think you're selling yourself short. Just looking back at the number of corrections I suggested in the first chapter I beta'd for you compared to the last, I can see a _huge_ difference. This story may not be in the running for a Newberry Award, but the amount it's taught you is worth far more than the acclaim it would've earned as an ATLA masterpiece. Give yourself credit for the work you've done! And be proud of the fact you keep improving, even if it's on a story that you're not particularly proud of. The best writers in the world became good by working on their worst pieces of crap first.

Also, while the detailed-outline style works for some people, it doesn't necessarily work for everyone, so don't convince yourself you _have_ to do it that way. If you're the kind that can't work by an outline but you've convinced yourself you need one, you may never write again. Besides, writing with an outline or by the seat of your pants requires the exact same thing: the ability to critically evaluate what you're writing. You constantly have to ask, "Does this make enough sense that the large majority of people would do the same thing?" And if the answer's no, "Would it be IC for this character to do it anyway?" Sometimes, the answer's 'no' to everything. But that's a window of opportunity, because it means the audience will also be asking, "How can this possibly be resolved in a way that makes sense?" And you are given the chance to show off your creativity and surprise them with a solution. For instance, I think it would be really awesome to have a scene where Aang and Katara are out in the woods, Katara gets injured by a platypus-bear, and Aang has to heal her. Does that make sense? Well, Katara is shown in canon to have healing abilities, and Aang hasn't...so why can't she heal herself? Okay, then we gotta make it where she _can't_ heal herself. Let's have her arms injured. Or better yet, she's unconscious! Now Aang is forced to heal her. See, it doesn't hurt to come up with scenes on the fly. You just gotta be able to evaluate those scenes and come up with solutions when something doesn't seem plausible.

I think critical thinking and self-reflection will help you a load more than an outline would. But if an outline would encourage the former, then by all means, I think you should try it! I also think that you should write for enjoyment just as much as you write to learn. Yeah, sometimes, you won't be satisfied with the final product. Heck, if you're a perfectionist, it's a pretty safe bet you'll never be satisfied. But that's why you need to write for fun, because you aren't here to craft Mona Lisas out of words or send Tokka fans into fainting spells. Your purpose should be to create something you enjoyed the process of creating.

More specifically to the story: you did very well on the changes you did make! I was delighted that you took a lot of my suggestions to heart, and reworded some things. It made the story flow a lot better.

I'm not just saying this out of pity - this is honest speaking here. This story does not suck. Sure there are a few parts which aren't the greatest but you have improved and this story is a LOT better than other stories that I have read. Don't lay off this story and give up. I really like this story and I would hate to see the next few chapters not be as good because you're feeling down on yourself. Every writer creates stories which they realise half way through 'wow this is really not good', but this fic has a few people who really like it so don't give up on it yet.

Wow that was a really big sentimental paragraph. Anyway I absolutely love the arguing between Sokka and Toph (as I always do) and I completely fangirl squealed when Sokka kissed her.

Please don't give up! I would love to see this story come to an amazing end! 8)

This was really good! very well written. Can't wait to read the next chapters :]

No, it isn't the "Bestest story EVAR!", but it IS one of the best tokka stories and one of the best all-around avatar stories. :)

Your writing has improved leaps and bounds from the first chapter too. If you keep improving at this rate, you might be the "bestest author EVAR!" in no time flat.

I do have to say though: If you don't enjoy writing this story, and it is no longer fun for you, quit. You admit you think it sucks, but you also seem rather dishearted about the whole idea of writing it. Heck, who cares if you have some reviewers who want to you keep going? If you don't enjoy it, quit.

*Click* Now back to regular programing.

I really liked this chapter; it was planned out nice, Sokka was IC PERFECTLY, and the romance was not too rushed, like in most tokka stories. You're also not doing the story, choppy sentence-stuff you use to. :)

I would give you some criticism, but nothing really sticks out to me... For now... XD

Great chapter! :) I love how you're making it kinda like watching episodes. (You know, with the different plot every chapter but still leading to the main one.)

The only thing I would be careful of is short, choppy sentences. Add more description, combine thoughts, etc. You mostly did it in the descriptions, so I would check those over extra. :)

Nice to see an update from you! :3

Haha, poor Sokka - his attempts were foolhardy to get into Omashu. However, couldn't they just sneak in via sewage system like in Return to Omashu? Just asking.

Can't wait for more. I wonder what's inside that package - hopefully not a weapon.

Cheers!

Liz

Everytime I read or hear "Yes? No? Maybe?" I inmediatly think in Avatar the Abridged series, when Aang is fighting Bumi and he says "Yes? No? Maybe? Lobster?" XD. Ok, that was random...

I don't know about this chapter... I really liked, but I think Musaku is asking too much for the "little" favor he did for Sokka and Toph. Yes, he healed Sokka and keeps Toph's secret. But He managed to let Toph ran away her home, how she's going to explain that if her parents doesn't let her go outside her home? I mean, Toph has a lot of guards trying to keep her safe in home and suddenly she is like "Ok, mom and dad, I'm leaving for a couple of days with my BFF to heal our guard's sick wife"?... Dunno.

Another thing is... How are they going to carry the woman? She's so sick and barely can stand up. How she's supposed to travel around the world? They're using an ostrich-horse or anything?

I really can't wait to see what's happening between Sokka and Suki, why he's so eager to left her without many explanations? The plot is good, but I can see some little holes, maybe you'll fill them latter.

Nice story ;3

All right, looks like I was wrong about Suki. I don't blame you for not wanting to make the chapter even longer by writing her in and all that, and it wasn't as if she was essential to the story, which I'm assuming is the reason why you didn't write her in there. Man, I suck at guessing.

Anyway, nice chapter. The plot, which is interesting, kicks off, and I wonder what will happen during Sokka and Toph's travels with Zuna and what kind of relationship will form between the three of them. I'm sure that they'll get along fine, but I wonder how Zuna's sickness will effect the way she acts around them and how it might interfere with their traveling pace and such.

Leaving-My-Mark

This is a really good fic so far, I look forward to reading the next couple chapters you've posted. It sounds pretty interesting so far.

Toph and Sokka seem well in-character, and not every fanfic author can do that, but you did a great job with it.

I have a feeling that Sokka isn't even married to Suki or that she's really traveling with him. She's never made an appearance, Sokka makes up excuses for why she's not around and why she won't mind if he's gone for a bit, and he's reluctant for Toph to take him to the apartment they supposedly share.

I don't know why he'd lie about it, but something tells me that he is.

Anyways, I'm going to continue reading, because I'm wondering if Toph manages to sneak Sokka inside with her without anyone noticing.

I think Sokka just makes it too easy for us to have him get hurt somewhere in the fic, like you said.

Nice job, I'm off to read the rest!

Leaving-My-Mark