Naruto: The First Shinobi

Disclaimer: BLAH BLAH BLAH

Story written & developed by Nightmares Around Winter. Story developed & edited by The Fox Boss (formerly YoukoTaichou). BETA'd read by Fox Boss

"Talking"

'Thinking'

*Sounds*

"Demonic/out worldly voices or thoughts"

(Author's Note/Translation)

Chapter 8: Mission Start

It has been one week, since Team Anko was formed and what was hence referred to as the 'Uchiha fiasco' by Anko, the team was walking through the village with Anko in the lead. "AH!" Naruto yelped as the brown cat made a swipe at him and nearly clawed his eyes out. "SHIT!" He swore. "What the hell is wrong with this damn cat?!" He swore as the feline hissed at him and made another swipe at him.

Anko merely shrugged. "I dunno, the only thing I know is that its name is Tora and it belongs to the Fire Daimyo's wife. So…while it is a very boring mission, it IS a very important one."

The cat made another made swipe at him. "DAMN! Here! Someone take it please!" He asked as he held it away from his face. The cat made annoyed yowls, desperate hisses and even sounds that could best be described as calls for help.

"Oh relax!" Anko teased as she took the cat from him. "See, it's just a cat," she taunted lightly just as the cat made a slash at her, nearly cutting her cheek. "HEY!"

Naruto crossed his arms. "'Just a cat' Anko-sensei?" He asked smugly as the Snake Mistress struggled to keep a hold on the cat.

Anko lips curled into a snarl. "I would kill this little bastard if it wasn't so important!" She swore.

"I don't get it," Kira started. "Daimyo's wife or not, it's just a stupid cat! Why is it worth bothering us genin? Shouldn't this be more of a job for the Daimyo's servants or maybe personal guard? Why waste our time with this?!"

Anko sighed, as she hated these missions too but she didn't really care for the Inuzuka's attitude. "Okay, well every time this cat runs the Fire Daimyo's wife, Madam Shijimi, is always so grateful that when she goes home, she puts in a good word with her husband, and we get more support. Namely funding."

"Actually, that was something I was curious about, Anko-sensei," Naruto started. "I've been to several hidden villages where I met several kage, clan heads, and kunoichi but I've never meet a daimyo in person. The closest I got was a letter and my payment was given to me by a servant."

"I see, but what are you asking?" Anko asked as the cat hissed again. "HEY!" She snapped at it.

"Well...are all daimyo females like kage and clan heads are, or are there male ones to? Since you referred to the Fire Daimyo as Madam Shijimi's 'husband' as opposed to 'wife'," he explained.

"Oh," Anko said as she smiled lightly as she got the cat in a small sleeper hold to keep it from clawing at anything. "Well as a standard rule, most of the daimyo ARE females but they don't follow the same laws as clan heads or kunoichi when it comes to marriage and only a handful of them are experienced kunoichi. So most of them generally marry men, though a daimyo marrying a kunoichi and having children with them is also common. The daimyo of our land is among the few male daimyo in the nations since he was an only child. If he were to have had a sister then she would have been the daimyo instead." She explained as they were getting close to their meeting spot. "Though, despite what others say about his gender, the Fire Daimyo has been very supportive of us, which is why we do this mission every time this cat runs away from its owner."

"Oh..." Naruto said a bit dejectedly.

Anko glared at him lightly. "Do YOU have a problem with our mission too, Naruto-kun?"

"Well...I do agree with Kira-chan on this one," he said. Everyone noted the suffix he used. The Inuzuka blushed lightly but couldn't help but smile widely as her partner wagged it's tall faster, as if sensing her pride. Shika had anannoyed look on her face and looked to the side as she thought about how close she could get to Naruto before he left. Anko merely lifted her eyebrow with a hint of envy on her face. After a week of training, Kira gets 'chan' while SHE get's 'sensei' only? How's that fair?

"Oh? And how's that?" Anko asked darkly as she looked at the blushing Inuzuka.

Naruto was taken slightly back by her change in tone; he never thought she would be THIS annoyed with him. "Okay...well...while I'm not BEGGING to be put in life or death situations all the time. I just thought being a genin would feel more... important for lack of a better word. I don't mean to sound like an ass or anything, but this feels more like doing odd jobs then missions. Odd jobs that I would have been paid a LOT more for before I became a shinobi. Pest control, home repair, panty thief patrol...I didn't learn how to make shadow clones only to be stuck with hunting rats! Hell, I could do that with just a simple trap and I wouldn't have to waste anyone's time. Just as Kira-chan didn't learn how to work with her dog in unison only to get stuck reshingling someone's roof and Shika-chan didn't learn her clan's shadow manipulation to get stuck catching some pervert in the act."

"Yeah!" Kira said. "There may be crap jobs that we have to do but between three future clan heads of Konoha, this seems ridiculous."

Anko sighed. "Maybe, but this is what every team does at the moment. So just bare with it."

Naruto sighed lightly as he pulled his hood up and Kira put her hands on the back of her head as they reached their destination. Shika had been more silent than usual but she really did agree with her two teammates. After serving with them on petty missions, she came to the conclusion that Naruto liked confident girls. She had seen how close Kira and Naruto had become, namely how they seemed to be talking shop as Naruto was generally interested in her taijutsu style and Kira was equally interested in his weapons and medicines.

She also heard from one of his stalkers that he was good friends with the older girls, namely the girl with brown hair tied into twin buns and the loud, black-haired busty girl in green suit. She tried to be more confident and more invested in their work, but it was just too damn tiring and troublesome, she just can't match their enthusiasm.

She sighed lightly; she couldn't help but feel pathetic. She had an IQ over two hundred and yet the act of talking to a guy and getting him to fall for her seemed to be one of the most difficult things she could do, right behind getting out of bed in the morning but harder then acting to like she cared when Cho talked about how the newest potato chip tasted. She looked over at him and watched Naruto talking with Anko about something while Kira merely played around with her dog while waiting for the Madam to come and get her cat. She wondered what Anko and Naruto were talking about.

"And that's how the futa jutsu works!" Anko said with a light smile.

Naruto's face was a pale green after hearing Anko's in depth explanation of female-female reproduction. "You do know I just asked if you had a family right?"

Anko tilted her head lightly. "What do you mean?"

Naruto just stared at her in dead silence before turning away. "Nothing...I'm just going to be having nightmares of a girl with a monster penis coming after me tonight."

Anko merely laughed at Naruto's words. "If you want, I can show you-."

"FUCKING NO!" Naruto yelled as a woman dressed in extravagant clothes and heavy eye make-up came running towards them. Her fingers were riddled with expensive, fancy rings that caught Naruto's attention.

"Oh TORA!" She called out as she snatched the cat out of Anko's hands and gave it a bone-crushing hug. The cat's yowls of pain were smothered out by the woman's fat cheeks that suffocated it. Team Anko only watched as the cat was being 'showered' with love.

"I guess we can see why it left," Naruto said getting nods from the others. The woman stopped hugging the cat and turned to Anko.

"Oh thank you for finding my sweet, precious Tora!" She said gratefully. "I expect nothing less from Konoha's kunoichi forces!" She said with a simple smile but soured when she saw Naruto. "What's a MALE doing here? I'm VERY certain that I ordered KUNOICHI for this mission!"

Naruto glared at her from underneath his hood. 'Well fuck you too bitch!' He thought as he faked a polite smile. "My apologize, Ojou-sama. My name is Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto, First Shinobi of Konohagakure." He said with a bow.

The Madam's face didn't shift or change from its sour pitch. "I never heard of a 'shinobi'." She stated.

"I'm basically a male kunoichi, I have all the skills and talents that you would expect from a kunoichi with the only difference being that I'm a man," he said.

"I've never heard such nonsense!" The woman claimed.

"Now now, Lady Shijimi," a new voice claimed. The others looked to see a gorgeous woman. She had red hair that reached to her waist and violet eyes. She wore exotic purple and pink robes with a golden necklace with a red gem. The robes didn't hide her wondrous curves as both males and females eyed her and soaked in her beauty. "Surely we shouldn't be cruel to history's first male ninja," she said as she bowed lightly. "Wonderful to meet you all. I am Sara, queen of the nation of Roran."

The members of team Anko copied her gesture, save for Shika who merely nodded slightly in her direction. "A pleasure to meet you as well," Anko said. "But, I'm curious...what brings a queen of a foreign nation to our humble village?" She asked.

The queen merely smiled at her. "Merely business. Roran is a small nation located within Kaze no Kuni (Land of Wind). We managed to flourish thanks to our trading and defensive pact with the Wind Daimyo and Sunagakure no Sato. I was on my way to an audience with the Fire Daimyo, after my dealings with him I was planning on coming to Konoha and negotiate with the Hokage though there was a slight...miscalculation." She said as she stared at the cat as it remained still as if it had an encounter with death itself.

"Okaa-sama." A new voice called out. Naruto looked over to see a girl come over. It wasn't hard to see the resemblance between her and her mother, as the resemblance was so close that one would have to be blind to not see it. The only major difference is that the girl had a lighter shade of red hair and wore a bandana and orange robes.

Sāra smiled at the girl. "Yes Sāya-chan, everything is okay. We'll be leaving soon," Sara then turned to Naruto. "Though, there is one thing I don't understand. How does a male became a 'shinobi'? I heard all kunoichi are female."

Naruto merely smiled. "I suppose I'm just unique," he said.

"Oh, well then, it was an honor to meet you," she stated, bowing slightly.

"And an honor to meet you as well. I hope you enjoy your stay in our country. My team and I will take our leave then." Anko said as she started to turn to walk away.

"If it means anything, Sara-sama," Naruto started, "but I've been to Roran once before I became a shinobi. It's a lovely country and I wish you the best." He said as made a quick bow and followed his team.

"Wait, please," Sara said, Naruto froze in place and turned around.

"Is there something wrong?" He asked as the queen approached him.

"No, but I do have a request." She said as she smiled in a cunning manner that got Naruto's sensei and teammates worried. "Take off your hood, so that I can see your face."

Naruto was confused by the request but compiled but then soon regretted it when he saw the looks on the upper-class trios faces. Lady Shijimi's sour face went away, only to be replaced by a rather unsettling grin with drool going down her face. Saya merely blushed and stared at him like a little girl getting a pony that she wanted. The queen, herself, merely eyed him with an amorous stare. "Is there something wrong?" He asked but made sure to inch away in a discreet manner.

"Oh nothing is wrong, Naruto-kun." She said as she took his hand and kissed it. Naruto wasn't sure on how to respond to the gesture, so he merely watched as the Sara traced her fingers on his hand and up to his arm. "You know...Naruto-kun." She started as she circled him like how a mountain lion circles her prey before pouncing. "I've never seen such a… appealing young man before," she said as got to his other side and kissed his other hand. "You're the kind of man that would make a wonderful prince, maybe even a king." She said adoringly. Sāya blushed at her mother's words.

Anko yanked Naruto aside with a pissed off look in her brown eyes. "Sorry, but Naruto-kun can't go running off with some random queen from some nowhere little country." She said smugly.

The queen frowned slightly. "My apologies, but who are you to speak for Naruto-san?" She said in a fake polite tone, trying to hide her anger and annoyance.

"I'm his sensei." Anko said stubbornly.

"I see, well you may be his…'sensei' but you don't have any actual say over his life." Sāra said with a light smugness in her voice.

Naruto and the others merely watched the two get into a heated argument. "So..." Naruto started, "Who wants to get some Ramen?" He asked.

"I don't think you have time for that." A voice said from behind making the three jump. They turned to see an ANBU with a cat mask and purple hair behind them.

"What do you mean?" Kira asked.

"The Hokage wants to see you; I wouldn't suggest keeping her waiting." She said as she faded out.

The three looked between each other before Naruto sighed. "Well...I guess that's no to the ramen...it's probably for the best. Anko-sensei seems hell-bent on starting a war anyway." He said as he looked back to see the two woman now yelling at each other intensely.

"Yeah...that's probably for the best," Kira agreed.

"Why does our sensei have to be so troublesome?" Shika asked in a tired, annoyed tone.

A Few Minutes Later

""Gah! I can't believe that woman!" Anko shouted as they entered the Hokage's building.

"It wasn't THAT big of a deal sensei." Naruto said simply.

Anko turned a sharp glare at him. "'Not a big deal! She was flirting with you and literally planned to drag you away!"

"Not really." He said as he grinned uneasily. "I would have said no."

Anko glared as Kira started to laugh to herself and Shika was staring at the floor trying to avoid the scene. "Riiiiiigghhttt, a beautiful queen of a foreign country just literally offered you herself and her equally attractive daughter to you and you were just going to say 'no'."

"…what's your point?" Naruto asked as they opened the door to the Hokage's office.

The Hokage was sitting at her desk, but waiting there was Team Kazumi, which was composed of Sakura, Sai and Sasuki. Naruto sent a look over to Sasuki who merely sneered at him. It was obvious that she still hated him for what went on between him and her mother, the best he could do is just be mature and try to ignore her and apologize formally later. Naruto was very uncertain on how to feel about the other girls on the team. He didn't hate any of them, he did like Kazumi and she was fun to flirt with but he was worried that he took it a bit too far sometimes. Namely when she starts quoting some of the more...'intensely graphic' parts from her little orange book. Sakura was a...complicated one. He didn't hate her but he LOATHED her... 'fangirlness' that Kira had dubbed it. So it was fair to say that he avoided both her and Ino. He heard from his occasional meetings with Kazumi that she'll grow out of it and does have a generally good head on her shoulders. Sai was the one that Naruto could easily say was scary from time to time. She was WAAAAAY too friendly. Ever since she pulled down his pants for everyone to see, she constantly was harassing him. She kept touching him in…'places' and one time he caught her doing a nude drawing of him. He often wondered who was scarier, Anko or Sai sometimes.

"NARUTO-KUN!" Sakura squealed as she ran up to him and wrapped her arms around his. "You look great! Did you get a haircut?" She gasped as stars came into her eyes. "Did you come here to see me?!" She asked.

"I invited them," the old Kage said tiredly.

"Why Hokage-sama?" Sakura asked just as Kira pulled her off of Naruto's arms like an overly affectionate monkey. The two girls glared at each other before Sakura backed off to join her teammates.

"Simple," the kage started. "I don't really like the feel of this assignment and I want more than one team on it."

Sasuki glared at the old woman. "You said you were going to give us a C-rank mission," she started coldly. "And why must I work with him off all people?" She said pointed a thumb at Naruto.

"Sasuki, you may not think you need to work with others, but you will be paired up with another team and you will like it." Hiruko said harshly. The Uchiha rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Now then, the mission is relatively simple: Escort a bridge builder back to his home and protect him as he finishes the bridge that will connect his homeland to the mainland."

"So where is this guy from?" Anko asked as she crossed her arms.

"Nami no Kuni." She said simply.

"It seems straight forward, what's the catch?" Kazumi asked as she looked up from her orange book.

"We believe that there's something he's not telling us. He's either being targeted by someone and he's too afraid to tell or he's too cheap to pay us for a higher ranking mission. So be prepared for anything. Your mission starts tomorrow, good luck and be careful."

"Yes ma'am." The two jōnin instructors said as they were about to leave.

"Naruto-kun, would you hold on for a moment?" She asked.

Naruto turned to face her. "Yes?"

The Hokage stared at him with concern in her eyes. "I just wanted you to know that this mission will lead you out of our walls in the first time since you came back to us," she said.

"Yeah," he said with a grin. "I'm pretty excited for it!"

The Hokage couldn't help but smile back. "I just want you to know that...I can't help but worry for your safety. I'm sure you will do well, but just in case, I prepared this for you." She said as she pulled out two long boxes and set them on her desk. She slid the top off them to reveal two blades, shimmering beautifully in the light. They both had black handles with silver guards and trimming. After a good look, Naruto noticed that they had two pegs that seemed to lock into one another. "I had Iō design and create this. They make a magnificent pair, but," she said as he pulled them out of the box. With a click the two pegs hooked together. "But they can come together as one true form." The blades were parallel to each with roughly an inch of space between the blades and seemed more menacing then when they were just a pair. "Here, take it," she said as she offered it to him.

"WOW!" He said as he took it and studied the blades, despite that fact that it was two swords in one the weapon was fairly light and balanced. The blades were like any normal katana that he had seen samurai wield in the Land of Steel. The blades were razor thin and as sharp as any blade could be. Naruto was impressed by it."So you said that a person named Iō made these?" He asked.

The Hokage nodded. "Yes, Iō is a local weapon smith and inventor. He's a genius but a bit...eccentric. I had to make him relocate his workshop outside the village walls since everything he does make's something else explode."

Naruto laughed lightly. "He sounds like he and I might like the same things," he stated. "Maybe I should visit him when I get the chance."

The kage chuckled lightly. "Funny, that's what he said when I told him about you."

Naruto merely smiled as he went around the desk and hugged the elderly woman. "Thanks again, Oba-san," he said before he left.

END

Omake

Rejected Story Ideas Number 1: The First Human Nin

Two men were walking through the forest on a bright day in the middle of summer. "It sure is a wonderful day!" One said as he placed his hands behind his head. "We should go on more walks like this more often!"

"SHUT UP!" The other hissed at him quietly as he looked around uneasily. "What if we see one of THEM?" He asked.

The first just scoffed. "Oh you worry too much! It's not like they will just pop out and-." He stopped when they heard the bushes shuffle and shake. The two stiffen with fear as they wondered what they should do. Out of the bushes came a small, brown rabbit that eyed them with its big eyes.

"OH SHIT! RUN!" The second one yelled as he ran back to the village.

"OH FUCK!" The first one yelled as the rabbit launched forward as it summoned an ice needle in its mouth and stabbed the first man in the neck, killing him instantly. The second looked back in fright at what happened to his friend just as he was trapped by several mirrors made out of ice. All with the reflection of the brown bunny.

"WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE CUTE ONES THAT ARE THE MOST DEADLY!" He called as the reflections tossed their needles at him turning him into a pin cushion.

IN A WORLD, WHERE ONLY ANIMALS CAN USE CHAKRA!

*Naruto could only stare hopelessly as the wolves encircled him and their mouths glowed with charging fireballs.*

ONE HUMAN, WILL LEARN THAT HE HAS THE POWER TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

*Naruto's eyes changed to that of a goat's. The wolves stopped and whimpered in fear before running back.*

"What the hell?" He asked.

HE WILL LEARN HOW TO MASTER HIS POWERS BY LEARNING HIS ORIGINS!

"Please, Village Elder I must know, who are my parents?" Naruto pleaded.

Hiruzen put out his pipe. "I've been dreading this moment, for a long time Naruto-kun," he started. "But if it means our survival against the beasts then I have no choice." He said as he looked up at him. "Your mother...was a goat!"

"WHAT?!"

"Your father was a goat-fucker!"

"WHAT?! HOW?! AND WHY THE HELL DID HE DO THAT!?"

"HE WAS DRUNK! IT WAS AT FRIEND'S BACHELOR PARTY!"

"EEWWWWWW!"

COMING NEVER! NARUTO: THE FIRST HUMAN NIN!

END

Happy Late-Holidays everyone! Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Now, to answer some of your reviews.

Leaf Ranger: Yes...yes he did.

CrimsonDragonKnight: Nope, I've been dead for years. I'm actually typing from beyond the grave!

SargentFalco: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and take care of yourself as well.

Wathever: Thanks and done!

Prince Sky: Well I have abandon a story a few times, if I'm being honest, either because I've become exhausted from it creatively or sometime later I come up with a new idea that I like better, so I take it down and restart it...that is of course the site's admins don't take it down for BS reasons.

Ilikebob: Yep, they also do it at the worst time!

SPark681: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

kage88: Thanks! I'm happy to see that you like it!

TheTureBardock: But...everybody loves lemons? Anyway, I hope you enjoy the story so far!

insanemaelstorm: I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter and the lemon, even though I still think I suck at them.

Velshard: Okay, but to be fair for a story like this you have to expect that there will be quite a bit of chapters composing mostly of a lemon or lemons and little plot. This is just what happens when you get an idiot like me to write a story like this. :P

Also, I'm sure Sasuki will mellow out in the future...probably...hopefully.

shinigami49: I understand, but I can't guarantee longer chapters nor faster update releases due to certain life issues. I'm sorry that it isn't going anywhere and I really appreciate that you still enjoy it for what it is. I hope to find a reasonable pace that will make you happy.

Guest: Huh?

Silber D. Wolf: Thank you.

Facebreaker17: Well thanks man! I'm happy you enjoyed it.

christopher. b. schatz : I am dead, that's why it's taking so long. XD

Guest (2): Thanks, and of course I kept it! A lot of people enjoyed it and I hope people still do!

Astroman1000: I don't know, I remember it getting me into more trouble then anything! LOL. Regardless, I'm happy you enjoyed this chapter!