Chapter 9: Nightmares

I am really sorry for both how long it has taken for this update and for the short chapter length itself! I am trying to finish my MA right now, and really don't have time to even consider ff in any capacity, and so it was either a short update, or none at all.

Darker tone. Hope it's enjoyable nonetheless.

Please Review! Thanks!

Harry groaned as he woke, feeling a strange foreboding feeling in the pit of his stomach. Reaching to the bedside table, he slapped on his glasses and cast a quick tempus charm, shocked to see that it was already 10am. It felt as if he hadn't slept a wink. With a sigh, he pushed himself out of bed, too tired to register where he had woken up.

The house was eerily silent, Harry noticed, as he wandered down the upstairs hallway to give his face a quick scrub in the bathroom. The usual hand towel was missing, and the morning chill stuck to his wet face and hands, making him feel clammy. Where's Eileen, I wonder? Must be with Sev downstairs. But why is it so quiet? She wouldn't have brought him into the lab with her, would she have? She should have woken me up!

Deciding to peek into Sev's room to make sure the boy hadn't been left to sleep in, he was met with a shock. The room he had so recently decorated was coated in a thick layer of dust, and looked extremely forlorn. There was certainly no sign of Sev.

Heart racing, and feeling suddenly sick, Harry spun on his heel and ran down the stairs. He wrinkled his nose at the stench as he wandered into the kitchen and saw mounds of dishes which had clearly gone unwashed for god-knows how long.

A quick check of the house confirmed what Harry feared. The place didn't seem to have been used in…years. But that wasn't possible. Was it?

A horrible possibility struck him which suggested that yes. It was possible. Very possible indeed.

No. I don't believe it. I refuse to believe it!

Severus. I need to find him. Even if he can't stand the sight of me. Harry shivered at the thought. He didn't know if he'd be able to stand the thought of Severus sneering at him the way he used to.

An unexplainable tug in his chest told him where he needed to go. He simply knew he had to follow it. Closing his eyes, he disapparated, opening his eyes when he stopped spinning to find himself in a graveyard. He didn't want to look at the gravestone in front of him, for he had an awful feeling he already knew whose name he would see.

And sure enough…His knees began to buckle in shock. But he had just seen her! She couldn't be gone. Sure their relationship was still strained, somewhat, but it was getting better. Harry just couldn't believe that, before he had even been able to fully apologize, Ei…

"What are you doing here, Potter?" A voice so icy cold it chilled Harry's bones sounded behind him, interrupting his thoughts. He didn't want to look, but as if possessed, he turned.

Had he ever seen Severus Snape look at him with such raw loathing as he did now? If so, Harry couldn't remember such an instance. At least, he couldn't remember it hurting nearly so much.

"S-Severus!" He gasped. "I-"

"Don't!" The man hissed.

Harry gulped. How could he get him to understand? "Please, Sev, I don't know how I got back here. One second I was home with you and Eileen and then-"

The dark man approached him so quickly that for an instant Harry was sure he was being attacked. Harry stumbled backwards against Eileen's gravestone, only vaguely aware that his near-trip hadn't hurt a bit. Perhaps he was just too numb to register anything but shock and the pain in his heart at the moment.

"You dare speak her name?" Severus' voice was a deadly whisper, much more terrifying than any yell would have been, and Harry found himself entirely useless to respond.

How could this have happened? He had time-jumped again? So they had been alone all this time, then? The thought made guilt surge through Harry's chest.

"I didn't want to leave! You have to believe me, Sev!"

"Don't you dare call me that! You have no right!" The man snarled. In a voice which was quieter, but somehow more deadly, he said "I'm not a gullible child any longer, Potter!"

Harry didn't know how to respond to that.

He imagined he could smell the man's breath now, Severus was leaning in so close.

"You can't hurt us with your false promises any longer, Potter," he spat. Harry stared into those obsidian eyes, looking for anything familiar-any sparkle reminiscent of the hopeful, beloved child whose eyes sparkled with wonder and curiosity. But all he met were impenetrable dark caves. The man had locked his emotion away long ago. Harry knew that. But as he continued to stare at him, he imagined he saw the slightest flicker of pain and hurt. That was all it took for him to try again.

"I didn't mean to lie to you, Sev. I wanted to be there for you." But even to his own ears, he knew his words were weak. Mere platitudes. What had happened this time around that Severus had ended up miserable despite Tobias Snape having been taken out of the picture? Had he unintentionally made things worse for Severus by showing up in his young life before vanishing once again?

As if he had heard his thoughts, Severus said, in a near whisper, "Yes, Potter. Yes, you made it worse. You and your despicable father, as always, cannot help but to make everything worse."

Harry felt his heart breaking. He could hardly breathe as his chest continued to heat up. He stared at Severus, vaguely wondering why the man's glamour charm had been back up the whole time they'd been conversing before everything went black.

Harry bolted up in bed, starkly aware of several things all at once. First of all, he was back at Spinner's End, on the couch in the living room. Second was that the uncomfortable, pulsing heat from before was getting worse. His mind cleared enough so that he finally registered the source of the heat as the stone he wore to alert him of Severus' distress.

He stared at it in awe for a moment, unmoving, before releasing an exhausted and relieved breath as he gazed around at the dust-free but lived-in living room with the understanding that it had all been a dream. He was still here. He still had time to fix things with Severus. He hadn't screwed things up more for the child. Yet. God, he hoped that dream wouldn't become reality. It had been just that, right? Nothing more than a dream? Not a warning of the inevitability of Severus' fate or some such rot? Because Harry refused to believe that growing up miserable was the only option for his son.

The heat of the stone still vibrating, Harry came to his senses and flung himself from the bed, tearing up the stairs and into Severus' room, his heart in his mouth. For an instant he stood in the doorway and simply savored the sight of Sev, still 4 years old, still innocent. Still his little boy in his room with his toys and decorations. The next instant, he was beside the child, who was thrashing terribly on the bed, whimpering.

"Sev! Sev, love, it's okay! It's just a dream," Harry whispered, careful to rub his hand on the child's back gently as not to scare him too terribly. When Severus didn't flinch, Harry moved to sit on the bed with his son and took the boy fully in his arms, rocking him back and forth and whispering meaningless words of comfort.

Eventually, Severus' shaking calmed, and he relaxed somewhat in Harry's hold.

"Sevvie? You okay?" Harry whispered, gently wiping the tears from the boy's soft cheeks. Severus shivered and snuggled into Harry's chest, mumbling "Daddy" several times.

Harry's heart clenched at the sound of the word from his son's mouth.

"Poor little guy. Guess we both had rotten nightmares, huh?" Harry said softly.

Severus sniffed and made a questioning noise before nodding into Harry's shirt.

"Yes, daddy had a scary dream, too," Harry confirmed softly. "Do you want to tell me about yours?" He asked, closely observing Severus' reaction.

Severus shrugged and stiffened a bit.

"It's okay if you don't right now Sev, but know it was just that. A dream. Nothing more. Whatever it was can't hurt you," Harry promised.

Severus shook a little more and clutched Harry's shirt in his grip.

"Stay wif me?" He mumbled through his exhausted tears.

"Of course," Harry said fiercely, and held Severus' securely to his chest as he adjusted them both under the covers. "I won't leave you," he whispered, hoping with his whole being that he wasn't giving the child false hope.

Severus nodded and relaxed some more. "Love you, daddy," he whispered.

Harry held him tighter so the child wouldn't see his tears. After the dream apparition of Severus' bitter, older self, brimming with nothing but hatred and resentment for Harry, the boy's words were like an incredible healing salve for his heart. But Harry knew how much he could hurt this child, with all his sweetness and love and generosity of spirit. He was all too aware of how his thoughtless decisions had affected his son in the past. And so Sev's words pained him as much as they filled him with incredible affection. For he couldn't help but wonder how much pain it would take to turn such love into such hate.

"I love you too," he whispered, smiling slightly as he noticed the child had already drifted back to sleep. Leaning down to plant a soft kiss on the pale little forehead, Harry followed Severus to sleep soon after.

Again, I know it's short. So sorry! I will try to update again (and hopefully sooner than this time-can't make any promises, though). I will definitely get us back to a more light-hearted tone, though.

I appreciate your feedback!

What do you think Sev's nightmares involve?