Please read, review and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed/Gundam Seed Destiny

Chapter 14

"I know of a way you can use that pain. To use that pain make others understand what that pain truly feels like."

Her mask finally cracked as a heavy frown and disappointing look crossed her face. Lacus showed him how clearly upset and unpleased she was with his type of answer; his offer.

"Never." Her voice was firm and filled with conviction. "I would never wish this feeling, this torment and pain onto anyone else. Even if they had done horrible things, I could never wish such hurt onto them. I will burden this pain on my own and somehow make it through."

Lowdon looked unconvinced. "That pain will never go away, you know. Not if that person mattered dearly. Some say is will ease away slowly. But it won't." His tone became lower and bitter, his look seemingly getting darker.

One single tear fell down her cheek as she could see deeper into the man standing across from her. Something regretful, something tragic seemed to haunt Lowdon. He knew lost and dealt with it in his own way. A way, she personally, didn't want to follow after. "It doesn't matter if that pain lingers on inside of me. I'll carry it with me." Another tear escaped as a sad smile appeared on her face. "I know he would have wanted me to go on and to be happy. And I will try my best to fulfil that if it was his desire."

"I don't think you have to worry about that now, Lacus."

She was drawn away from a stunned Lowdon to find Andrew standing right next to her, a firm but comforting hand on her shoulder. She had never heard him approach. He was looking down at her with a look she couldn't completely understand.

"What do you mean?" She asked, confused about the look he was giving her.

His hand tightened gently. "I said don't worry about it. I have something to show you. And trust me, you will want to see it with your own eyes." She blinked, nodding slowing as her expression becoming neutral once more.

Andrew stopped himself from grimacing at that expression and instead led Lacus out of the room towards the bridge. Though not without giving one more glare over his shoulder at Lowdon who still hadn't move from his spot.

He did not like the idea that this Lowdon guy, who he still didn't trust, had managed to get Lacus alone while in state that she was in. Andrew was sure they only had a few minutes alone, but the expression and few words he had witnessed before interrupting them gave the older commander some concern.

What had that man said to his charge? Why was he trying to push his anger and hate through into her?

Pushing those thoughts to the aside, he knew that he could figure out that man later. This was way more important than the other man's guilt and hatred he had hidden. He picked up his pace towards the bridge, knowing the sooner they got there, the sooner everything would be set right again.

Andrew couldn't believe it at first either and that's why he wanted Lacus to see for herself. It was probably the most effective and safest way to bring her back to her senses.

They entered the bridge to find DaCosta there along with some others. He had the look of both disbelief but relief on his face which made Lacus question inside what was going on.

He smiled gently and gave her the news.

It was confirmed that the Archangel and its crew survived the deadly attack. That included the pilot of the once powerful gundam Freedom.

A minute of silence passed followed by another as everyone waited for a reaction, of anything to occur. Blue eyes stared straight ahead with no blinking. Her expression stayed neutral, the only movement was her hands clasping together in front as if she was holding it all together.

Then as soon as DaCosta wondered if she had heard him correctly, she reacted. Though not in the way he thought.

Lacus was crying.

She couldn't help herself as the drips of water fell. These tears were different before as she tried to reassure DaCosta as he panicked at her reaction. Andrew looked sympathetic and understanding. Their concern was understanding, but it was about time the tears came along. All her emotions and feelings that were wound tightly in a ball had finally unraveled and she appeared to be more of a wreck than before.

But none of that matter. It didn't matter how terrible she looked or how everyone else was completely concern about her at the moment.

She chocked through the tears as a smile that seemed lost took form.

Kira was alive!

The one person who made her feel complete and real was still alive. He was out there still surviving in the messed up and dangerous world. Her chest tightened with excitement and overwhelming happiness.

Andrew still nervous about her unexpected reaction approached her, "Lacus, are you alright?"

Lacus gave him a smile, tears still glistening in her eyes. But to the older commander's relief it was a real smile. "Yes. Oh yes, I'm...so happy. Just very happy." And a new wave of tears flowed free but she laughed as she wiped them away.

DaCosta also took a step forward, "Miss Lacus..."

She gave him the same smile. "It's alright, really. I just…it's hard to explain what I'm really feeling now but it's alright. Everything is still alright. Because," her voice dropped down to a mere whisper as to remind herself, "He will still return to me."

I can still be by his side. Our dream, that future we wished for still can come true as he is still here.

The change had almost been instantaneous after Lacus had learned the amazing news.

At once, she was up and about, asking after the status of the equipment in the factory, any other updates from the Terminal and the well-being of the crew members.

It was like she had never been down or out of commission for a few days. Andrew was impressed at the bounce back. Lacus was back at being the leader she was born to be.

It was all thanks to the kid having still having luck on his side when his mobile suit was completely destroyed. DaCosta had told him that only the cockpit had been left intact after the explosion and the kid managed to turn off the reactors in time. All that contributed to the only reason he managed to survive.

Though he didn't believe in it much, Andrew was thankful for that luck that seemed to be all on their side.

Only a few hours passed as messages passed between the stationed Archangel and the Eternal with the Terminal being the bypass. It was good to hear from Murrue again Andrew thought as he scanned another few messages that were coming in. If they were important, he would have them logged and saved for later. But there was one that came through, he had written down knowing it would be another thing to brighten his charge's day.

"Well the kid isn't sitting still," He said to Lacus when she returned to the bridge after one of her rounds. He then held up a piece of paper, a grin appearing. "He's already sent a message and it's for you, Lacus."

"A message?" She almost squealed with delight though she managed to hold it back. Yet, she didn't keep back the bright smile that crossed her face as Andrew only smirked. He couldn't hold it against her. Hearing directly from the person she loved was the next best step after learning he managed to survive an almost fatal battle.

"Yeah. Maybe the kid understood that he needed to contact you somehow soon so you didn't lose it wondering if he was injured or not."

"I wouldn't lose it...completely." She said though her chest stung at the idea of him being hurt. Kira was probably injured, there was no way he could get away unscathed from the complete obliteration of his gundam. Yes, she did worry if he was alright and was resting to make sure he healed.

But that all paled in comparison of when she thought of him to being gone mere hours ago. He was alive. She would always be thankful with the miracle that he was still alive and had made it through. So she promised herself she wouldn't freak out over his injuries. Unless there was some reason she should be.

"I'm surprise the kid didn't send something more." Andrew commented, only briefly gazing over the message. He was talking about the length as he handed the piece of paper to Lacus. "He has to know how much trouble he has caused, so he can at least write something longer."

DaCosta looked at him. "I don't think he can do that on a message transfer between us by the Terminal, Commander." Andrew only glared at him.

"Of course I know that. But that kid has it coming for making us worry too much. I won't let him off too easy when meet up again." He said with an amusing look in his eyes. DaCosta sweat-dropped.

I'm going to pick on that kid for a long time coming for giving me a scare Andrew thought with a grin.

Ignoring both adults, Lacus' eyes clung to the paper in her hand. Andrew was right about its length, but she could care less. The message came from Kira, came from him personally for her only.

A faint smile crossed her lips at the simple message. It was five lines at most, but she could very easily read the underlying words he was trying to convey, so simply and so complicated. Lacus smile grew at the messages she could see in-between in those the short. few lines.

I am okay.

I'm alive and well. For the most part.

Everyone is okay.

Everyone is alright. Everyone is safe. They were able to survive such a terrifying ambush.

Sorry.

I'm sorry for causing so much worry. I'm sorry for losing the sword you have given me. I know you probably heard of the news and I'm very sorry that it had probably scared you. I wish I can take back that pain I most likely caused you.

I'm still waiting.

I will keep waiting on the fulfillment of the promise. Your promise, our promise to return to each other's side one day. I hope that day will come soon.

I will always wait.

I love you.

Clutching the paper tightly to her chest, Lacus closed her eyes, letting the words and meanings become her strength. He always knew what to say. He could always make her heart be filled with both sorrow and happiness for him.

Kira was still going to fight with or without the Freedom. He won't stop until there was peace again, the peaceful future they both dreamed about. Therefore she was going to keep moving forward, fighting her way.

Her eyes opened with new resolve and strength she thought she no longer possessed. Her heart would take time to repair itself, but it was healing; thanks to a miracle. And the pink princess was going to take that miracle as a sign. Something had to be started in motion if they had any hope of ending this war soon. That also meant she could return sooner and fulfil the promise she had made him.

Her eyes briefly closed again as a warm, loving smile crossed her face.

I love you, Kira. We got another chance and I won't waste it. I will return to you no matter what.

She turned towards her companions, the smile now confident and willing. Both Andrew and DaCosta were surprised by her aura of strength and determination, but grins engulfed their expressions as their princess became the leader she was once again.

"Let us start this in order to end this." She told them, her resolve firm. "We need to figure what Durandal is really planning."

The world did not want to seem to sit still any longer, it didn't take long after the supposed annihilation of the Archangel and the destruction of Berlin for the next battle to come and go.

Another battle, another number of casualties. Another battle to determine who was in the lead of this war. But who was truly in the lead?

Lacus could only questioned that thought silently to herself. She was working in her room, looking at reports, articles of the recent battle all in trying to determine what the Chairman was up to. There were still a few players left in the war and though Logos was the primary target now, soon enough another one would be picked and will become the new enemy.

And the pink princess had a deep underlying fear that it would be the nation that was once neutral, but got thrown into a war under a terrible treaty agreement.

The quick buzz sound of her communicator broke into her thoughts as Andrew's rough voice called out.

"You had said if Heavan's Base fell, the next target would be Orb, right?"

"Yes," She paused for moment before gasping, understanding the underlying truth of the Commander's question. It couldn't have happened already? "Did it…fall?" She asked, nervous about the potential answer.

Andrew grunted a response and she quickly made her way to the bridge of the Eternal. Once she arrived, the commander looked almost worn out at hearing another battle breaking out. "It was sooner than expected. Why Orb though?" Andrew asked still a little whiffed on that direction of thought. "Isn't Logos the one Durandal is claiming to destroy?"

"That is because Orb is a county that is strong; both in power and ideals. But I believe that it'll only be an obstacle in the face of what the Chairman is trying to do." Lacus said solemnly as she started pulling data up in front of the commander's chair. Andrew watched her as he recognized she was guarding her expression carefully on the subject of Orb being burned again.

"And what is he trying to do?"

"I don't know yet for sure," Lacus admitted. "But I believe I'm beginning to understand it a little more now. I'm starting to see the pieces line up. Perhaps the Chairman is trying to create a new world order that binds the Earth and Plants as one."

"What?"

Andrew gave her an incredulous look that she could give him a strained look back. "It's possible that is entire war is only or the sake of laying a foundation for that world."

"Oh man. Even though the air had leaked out of the colony and the whole place was in ruin." DaCosta said first in his debriefing in the back of the bridge. He had journeyed to the abandon Mendel Colony to see if any research was left over to point which direction the Chairman was going. If he was doing what Lacus feared he was trying to accomplish. "The data and other materials at the genetics laboratory had all been cleanly wiped out. This was the only thing I could find."

He held out two notebooks out as the commander and songstress looked on in surprise and disappointment.

"Damn," Andrew pounded the table. "Should have known they would've cleaned everything up.

DaCosta nodded in agreement, "But we might have lucked out. Here, look. Right here is what I believe is a note from his colleague." The red-haired man opened a page of one of the notebooks and laid it on the table. It was clear what he meant as two words were underlined and impossible to miss.

Destiny Plan.

Andrew read out loud the lines following the strange message. "In this day and age the Destiny Plan that Durandal speaks of seems solidary. But we must not forget this. People do not live for the world. The place that people live in is the world."

"Destiny Plan?" Andrew reread the words, confusion in his tone as the three shared a look. "What could this be?"

Lacus gasped. "This is..!"

A sudden alarm blared throughout the ship, startling the three studying the notes. A warning alarm on the bridge was never a good sign.

"What is it?!" Andrew demanded, pulling up images of what the crew were seeing in the Eternal's sight. As soon as he brought up one camera, a mobile suit could be seen hiding behind some asteroid debris and shot at the Eternal's camera, making them lose visual.

"A reconnaissance-type Ginn?" Andrew growled, turning his anger on his second in command. "Dammit. You were tailed, DaCosta!"

"What?!"

Andrew pushed by him, quickly heading towards the door. "I'll go after it immediately! Prepare my Gaia."

"Wait. Please wait!" Lacus' call stopped him. She looked at him with sad, but determine expression. He didn't like that look from her. "It's too late now." She answered lowly. "If the Ginn had followed DaCosta, the mothership wouldn't be that far away."

"Dammit!" He pounded his fist against the wall knowing she was completely right.

"It's possible that the Mendel colony was being watched as well."

"What?" He and DaCosta looked at her in surprise.

"I was careless." Lacus replied, taking the blame and burden onto herself.

"No, that's-" DaCosta tried pleading before Andrew grabbed him into a headlock. Trying to relieve the pressure off his charge.

"Yeah this guy is the one who was careless." The commander said, trying to relive the pressure off his charge. Even she couldn't predict an old abandoned base was being monitored. "But what will we do? The final adjustments for the units that we have in the factory here aren't completed yet. If they attack now, we wouldn't be able to defend ourselves."

Lacus gathered and clutched the notebooks to her chest. Andrew knew that look all too well she was wearing. "Please launch the ship, Commander Waltfeld. Right now."

"They'll find us!" DaCosta countered.

"It's all the same at this point. We should launch and create as advantageous a situation as possible before they attack." The pink princess said with no hesitation in her voice. She was not going to back down now. Not when they had possibly found the link to what the Chairman's ultimate goal was.

"But right now this ship doesn't even have the combat compatibility to sink one Naza class. There is no way we can win."

"I do not wish to win," Lacus clarified. "I want to protect these and the people of the factory who lent their strength. And this. If we launch, ZAFT will surely pursue us. During that time, the factory can get extra time to prepare. In the worst case, we will escape to descent orbit and launch those two units and these documents towards the Archangel." She lingered on the last word as Andrew pressed his lips together. He gave a slight smile at her leadership and logic. She was still so dedicated to everything else above her own life.

Sometimes she was just a truly remarkable person.

The commander relented. "Alright, I understand. Prepare to launch the Eternal. Contact the Terminal and I'll contact the base. We will give all that we got."

A sigh echoed in the small confines of the cockpit. Murdoch looked up, but didn't mention anything and instead let the kid deal in his own way with his own frustrations.

Though he should be resting after a near death experience, apparently Kira didn't want to stay lying down. He had to move, had to keep his mind occupied and the mechanic wasn't going to get in his way.

Kira was currently working on his sister's gundam, the Strike Rouge. In order to keep his hands busy, he volunteer to work on the systems of the only mobile suit the Archangel had left. Despite Cagalli's demands for him to rest, he set his mind on working the machine.

Besides, Athrun was in worst shape than him and Cagalli had enough worry after about hearing ZAFT trying to kill her fiancé.

Maybe everything was winding up way too tight for brown-haired teen. So much had happened in the last few days alone that he couldn't quite comprehend what the best action was, what way he should really be feeling in this chaos.

Not only did his friends, his sister and he barely survive an all-out assault; his best friend had almost been killed when he was branded a traitor by ZAFT. Again. The Archangel had been damaged severely by the surprised assault by the Minerva and it had taken time to keep any communications back up and running. Now, all the crew could do was hide, waiting for the ship to be repaired.

And maybe even worse, Kira had lost his sword, the one Lacus had trusted to him.

He sighed again, his mind wandering away from his work. There was some relief that he was able to send his own message to the Eternal once communications was back up. Miss Murrue had understood his inner turmoil at not having any contact with Lacus since their near brush with death and allowed him to send a message. The Terminal had heard of the Archangel's destruction so there was no doubt that the crew of the Eternal knew as well.

It hurt him deeply to cause his beloved so much pain by making it seemed like he had died. And it was true, that he didn't think he would make it either in those last moments before losing consciousness. Yes, he just had to send something even if just a few words to make sure Lacus wasn't in despair. And then she could continue working hard on what her mission was.

Yet, it was distressing to admit that he had lost his sword. At this moment, he couldn't protect anyone if they came under attack.

The sword he once was granted to help, to fight and to protect was now gone. Lacus had entrusted the Freedom to him; it became part of him.

And Kira felt like he had lost a part of himself along with the Freedom.

He was pulled from his regrets when Murrue's voice came over the intercom, her voice pitched and filled with worry. "Kira! We just received a message from the Terminal." The captain's tone made his heart nearly stop. "The Eternal is under attack!"

He couldn't even think straight as his body moved automatically on its own, jumping recklessly from the platform to the ground before speeding off towards the bridge. This couldn't be happening, this couldn't be real. He knew it as always a fear, he knew it was always a possibility when her watched leave and he was left behind.

No! Not Lacus!

But it was still heart stopping to hear those words, to hear the Eternal was being attacked. To think he managed to survive all the battles he faced so far to only come to possibility of losing her now. They had come so far and still had much to live for.

It wouldn't happened, he wouldn't let it happen. Even if he had no Freedom, no sword to fight with; he would not let anything happen to the Eternal or to her he swore as he closed in on the bridge. Only one thing loud and clear was left in his mind.

"Lacus!"

Thanks for being patient on the long wait. Till next time!