A/N - My apologies to everyone who has been wondering whether I was ever going to finish this story. Are any of you still out there? I had some issues with muse abandonment and just plain craziness in real life, but hopefully the worst is over! Anyway, thanks to MidKnight Rider and BethanyActually for the awesome beta and to all of you who stuck it out and decided to read this last chapter. :)

This chapter takes place during and after the events of Entity.

Chapter 4 - Jack

Jack watched the respirator as it moved up and down with a rhythmic whooshing noise. He knew every time it made that sound, Sam took another breath, just like he knew the beeping of the monitor kept perfect time with her heart. It all served to prove that she was alive, at least technically. Still, he couldn't bring himself to look directly at her, because every time he did, all he saw was the tube in her mouth, her face pale and hands deathly still, and he felt a pang in his gut, the one that reminded him that he was responsible for this, all of it.

Seeing her now, it was hard to believe that just that morning she had been so...alive. Not twelve hours ago, he'd woken to the sight of her gloriously naked breasts swaying above him as she kissed his face and neck, and then slowly made her way down his body. Completely entranced, he'd tried to stay as still as possible as he watched her tongue trail down his chest, finally circling the sensitive skin of his lower abdomen. He knew the involuntary hitch in his breathing had given him away, a fact that was confirmed when he saw the slightly evil smile that graced her lips immediately before she shifted upward and repositioned herself over his now fully erect cock.

He'd spent the next several minutes watching the changing expressions on her face - desire, ecstasy, love - as she took him in fully and began moving. God, she was gorgeous, he'd thought and wondered not for the first time how he'd been lucky enough to have such an extraordinary woman by his side, much less in his bed. But it wasn't long before he'd found it impossible to concentrate on anything other his own growing need and he decided that it was time for him to take control of the situation. So, in one expertly choreographed move, he'd flipped them over and situated himself deep between her thighs, taking a ridiculous amount of pleasure from her startled gasp and satisfied moan. It didn't take long after that before she was flying apart beneath him, and he was finally able to let go as well.

He'd still been thrusting softly against her, feeling her tremble with the last of her aftershocks, when he buried his face in the side of her neck and whispered, "I love you," to spot just below her ear. It was only when she stilled completely at his words that he realized what he'd done. He'd raised his head to look at her face and tried to apologize for the less than optimal timing of his declaration. But she'd just beamed up at him and, before he could finish his sentence, she'd simply laughed and told him that she loved him, too.

And so he'd arrived at work mere hours ago downright giddy, feeling for the first time in years that his life was damn near perfect.

He should have known better.

As he continued to sit on the stool by her bedside his eyes never left the respirator, not when Daniel came in, rattling off some nonsense about how they couldn't have known what would happen; and not even when Teal'c entered shortly after to take up a blessedly silent vigil beside him. At some point he lost all track of time, too caught up in his own self-recrimination over the events of the last few hours.

After it took her, the Entity had told him that Sam was special, that it had chosen her specifically because he wouldn't kill "this one." He wondered how it could possibly have known that was true, how it was able to so accurately discern how he felt about her, solely from the briefest observation of their interactions. But he knew in his heart of hearts that it did, just as he knew she wouldn't be clinging to the last remnants of her life if he didn't love her like he did.

He was interrupted from his thoughts when Janet entered the room. He waited for the diminutive doctor to check Sam's vitals, but apparently there was no need. That had not been the purpose of her visit. No, instead she had come to address the issue of Sam's living will.

The grim reminder drew him back to the moment he'd fired the shot that had all but ended her life. Even then, he'd known he might as well have been pulling the trigger on a gun pressed to his own head. But he'd fulfilled his duty. He'd put aside his personal feelings and done what was expected of an officer of the United States Air Force, even though he understood what it would cost him. And sure enough, he was now lost in the same blackness he'd encountered after Charlie's death. Until now, he hadn't believed anything could compare to the pain he'd felt upon losing his only child. But he'd been wrong.

Somewhere in the distance, he was fairly certain he thought he heard Janet asking him once again to do the impossible, to silence the machines that kept Sam's heart beating. He wondered how she could possibly ask him to kill the woman he loved twice.

But Janet wasn't the cause for his despair. For that, he had no one to blame but himself. He was responsible. Not because he'd fired the shot that brought her down - if he hadn't done it, Hammond would have - and not because their affair violated military regulations. After all, they'd been breaking the regs long before they slept together. And not even because the Entity picked her because it knew - it knew! - how he felt about her.

No, the real reason he was responsible was because he wasn't the kind of man who deserved to be happy. He wasn't the kind of man who deserved a person like her. He'd done terrible, awful things during his time in Black Ops. Yet he hadn't just killed all those nameless, faceless people on his covert missions. It was far worse than that. He'd killed his own son. And somewhere, deep down, he'd known he'd have to pay a price. He just hadn't counted on Sam paying it for him.

Jack finally mustered the courage to look at her face one last time. Damn, if she wasn't still beautiful despite the tubes and wires. As he watched her, he realized that for one brief moment, he'd touched the sun.

He should have known he'd flown too close.

oOoOoOo

Jack sat in his easy chair, staring at an undefined point in the center of his rapidly darkening living room, his thoughts focused solely on the incident with the Entity and the fact that Sam had somehow, miraculously, survived. When she'd woken, she'd looked directly at him as though gazing into his very soul. He'd known instantly she had returned to him, and his relief was overwhelming. He'd wanted to pull her to him and never let go; he'd even moved to take her hand before remembering not only where they were but how he had no right to claim her as his.

After, he'd been the worst kind of coward. She'd been whisked to the infirmary, and despite Daniel's less than subtle prompting and Teal'c's questioning eyebrow, he'd declined to follow. The minute he'd heard she was fine, he'd run. He hadn't gone to see her, hadn't even stayed on base. It was too much temptation. So, he'd driven straight home with the intention of drinking himself into a stupor, only to find himself nursing the first and only beer he'd opened.

He was roused from his thoughts by a soft knock on the front door and figured it had to be Daniel, damn him. Despite his friend's good intentions, Jack had no desire to turn this evening into an impromptu therapy session, so he just let him continue to knock. It was only when he heard a key in the lock that he bothered yelling at him to go away.

While he wasn't really surprised that the intruder continued the unauthorized entry, he was shocked to find it wasn't Daniel after all. He stood suddenly as a decidedly feminine figure rounded the corner into his living room.

"Sam?"

She gave him a wan smile. "Hey."

"Hey," he responded automatically. Clearing his throat, he recovered himself a bit. "I, uh, didn't think you'd be released so soon."

She shrugged. "Janet says that physically I'm perfectly fine."

"And other than physically?"

She let a long sigh. "I have an appointment with MacKenzie first thing Monday morning."

"Ah." There was an awkward silence, before Jack continued. "That should be fun - you can tell him all about how your commanding officer-slash-lover shot and killed you."

She stared at him blankly, and he grimaced. The words had come tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them. More uncomfortable silence followed. It had almost become unbearable when they suddenly both spoke at once.

"Jack-"

"Sorry-"

"I don't blame you," Sam said quickly.

He looked at her for several beats. "You should," he replied gravely. He thought that would put an end to the conversation, but Sam apparently had other plans.

"I don't."

She moved toward him but he immediately backed away, holding up both hands. He hadn't planned on having this conversation so soon, but he couldn't let their relationship continue any longer. It was too dangerous for her. He was too dangerous for her. The Entity had proven that.

"We can't. This was a mistake, my mistake."

Her eyes hardened. "I refuse to label all that's happened between us a mistake."

Why couldn't she see? "I almost killed you," he said, his voice low.

"No," she said quietly, holding his gaze, "you saved me."

That took him aback, but when he considered it for a minute, he could see her point. She'd been held prisoner in her own body, watching captive, as she was forced to do things she hated that were completely beyond her control. He suddenly realized that something about that sounded familiar.

She smiled at him when she saw that he understood, but she wasn't done yet. "It's more than just the Entity, Jack. It's a million different things. I don't think I could make it without you."

He shook his head. "No. No, Daniel was right. I don't deserve you."

"Maybe," she responded somewhat to his surprise. "But what if it's not about you deserving me, but the other way around?" She grinned ever so slightly. "Because I absolutely deserve to get what I want."

That thought left him dumbfounded. Could that be true? If so, then maybe in her own way, she could save him, too.

He was still trying to process everything she said when she kissed him. As he melted into her embrace he realized he had no power to resist her, that he never would. He wondered for a moment when the power in their relationship had shifted. But he didn't dwell, because for the first time in forever he felt something that he hardly recognized: hope.

He held her closer and buried his face in the side of her neck, breathing in her scent and trying desperately not to let the tears that had gathered fall. He'd been ready to give her up, but she had no intention of letting him do it. Maybe he didn't deserve her, but for whatever strange reason she wanted him, and she was right – unlike him, she deserved to be happy. Saving him might be just a by-product, but he'd take it.

As she grabbed his hand and led him to the bedroom, he knew that he would always harbor some fear that their relationship would fall to pieces at any given moment. But this time she was the one making the offer; she was calling the shots; and maybe - just maybe - she was the one who could build the wings upon which they would soar.

The End