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BRENDA MAYER

If you can't solve your problems, at least crush cans.
Articles Posted: 26; Links Seeded: 130
Member Since: 4/2007

Well, you don't see something like this every day

An Australian barmaid has been fined for crushing beer cans between her bare breasts while an off-duty colleague has been fined for hanging spoons from her friend's nipples, police said Wednesday.

Comment on this

The barmaid and the hotel manager were both fined A$1,000 ($900), while an off-duty barmaid was fined A$500 for helping to hang spoons from the woman's nipples, police said.
#1 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:04 AM EDT

From time to time I think about moving.

Australia, huh?

#2 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:07 AM EDT

If you're looking for someplace a little less exotic, this has been the trick of Blondie at Atlanta's "Clermont Lounge" for years. It was even showcased on Dave Attell's "Insomniac"

#2.1 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:41 AM EDT

Eco-geek,

Australia is already relatively less exotic for Dennis--he lives in Turkey. Actually, Dennis, now that I think about it, you and Gideon could possibly get together and check the place out, all in the interest of realistic life drawing, of course.

#2.2 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:03 AM EDT

Hmmm. Might even be able to write it off...

#2.3 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:06 AM EDT

I know he lives in Turkey, but I also know he has connections to the US (per our prior conversations about the Cubs).

That said, why'd you want to go to Australia? Bunch of uncultured rednecks. :)

(Sorry...obligatory Married-to-a-Kiwi Aussie-Hate. :) )

#2.4 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:09 AM EDT

Sorry Eco-geek, I didn't realize.

#2.5 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:24 AM EDT

No worries. :)

#2.6 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:32 AM EDT

Well, yeah, I have connections to the US. I was born in Chicago and lived there most of my life. I'm an American.

Why Australia?

An Australian barmaid has been fined for crushing beer cans between her bare breasts while an off-duty colleague has been fined for hanging spoons from her friend's nipples

Why not?

#2.7 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 11:16 AM EDT

For her next trick - cutting glass.

#2.8 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 7:56 PM EDT
Bunch of uncultured rednecks. :)

Help me with this, I'm trying to picture cultured red necks.

#2.9 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:16 PM EDT
Help me with this, I'm trying to picture cultured red necks.

Here's one standing next to the queen.

#2.10 - Fri Oct 26, 2007 8:52 AM EDT

And when they start getting that close to Her Majesty, the forward picture looks very bleak.

Good one Killfile:~)

#2.11 - Fri Oct 26, 2007 9:37 AM EDT

I said 'cultured', he's not cultured, just rich. :)

#2.12 - Fri Oct 26, 2007 9:43 AM EDT
he's not cultured, just rich

and will need all that wealth. when the crimes against humanity kick in seriously. I would have thought that was impossible. till I read what I read today before seeding it here. now, I'm not so sure it is that impossible.

#2.13 - Fri Oct 26, 2007 5:37 PM EDT

I can't crush beer cans with my hands, let alone my breasts! I'm impressed.

#3 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:19 AM EDT

Yeah, all I could think about was, "Ouch!"

#3.1 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 11:48 AM EDT

I think I'm going to try this with soda cans. I'll let y'all know how it turns out. Maybe I could take the act on the road since Jake needs a new pair of shoes.

#4 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:24 AM EDT

Whether you succeed or not, it's the thought that counts ;-)

#4.1 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:26 AM EDT

You're more woman than I am. Good luck.

#4.2 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:48 AM EDT

Any success will only be believed with photographic or video proof.

#4.3 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:45 AM EDT

Of course, as it should be. I doubt my "skills", but I'm always willing to experiment and "take one for the team". A good citizen journalist would do no less.

#4.4 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 2:20 PM EDT

Okay, experiment complete, and semi-successful.

I think I deserve a RAV for this one.

#4.5 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 5:15 PM EDT

Wow! This is citizen journalism alright! Did it hurt? Did it spill? How many cans did you have to drink beforehand?

#4.6 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 5:48 PM EDT

Yeah, it hurt a little. Didn't spill much.

The funny thing is that I'm stone cold sober. I must have been a lot of fun when I was drunk, I only remember 1/2 of those days, though.

#4.7 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 6:04 PM EDT

Awesome. didn't think you would Brenda.

Certainly the stuff of RAVs. Random Act of Valour.

#4.8 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 6:30 PM EDT

I generally avoid blogs - maybe I've been wrong.

#4.9 - Fri Oct 26, 2007 10:12 AM EDT
maybe I've been wrong

Lol, I just needed a place to plant the photos.

#4.10 - Fri Oct 26, 2007 2:13 PM EDT

Glad you caught this. Raised a laugh when I read it this AM. Her party trick with spoons sounds ... painful.

#5 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:37 AM EDT

How sad is it that this is one of the top seeds?

If I'd known that breast articles are all it takes for a little recognition I'd have been hunting these down all along.

#6 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:25 AM EDT

Now you know why the tabloids always beat the broadsheets in the chase for numbers!

#6.1 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:43 AM EDT

@Brenda
I admire your subtlety though, not including the word 'breasts' in the headline at all.

#6.2 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:53 AM EDT

Actually, this story has provided a pair of...um, top seeds.

I suppose that's only fitting.

#6.3 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 11:20 AM EDT
suppose that's only fitting.

trust you to take measurements:-)

#6.4 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 12:21 PM EDT

Brenda, for the male of the species there are NO bad breast stories.

#6.5 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 1:16 PM EDT

you wanna bet Bill? shame I can't link to some 'cos the work mafia is snooping:-)

#6.6 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 1:27 PM EDT

Sorry Raat, you're right.

#6.7 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 2:23 PM EDT
Actually, this story has provided a pair of...um, top seeds.

Well, phooey. My apologies to cartooncat. I'll go over there and post on her seed now.

#6.8 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 2:45 PM EDT

No worries... your headline was better... it attracted all the "respectable" viners. Well and Raat and Dennis as well, obviously. LOL

#6.9 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 3:13 PM EDT

I commented on the other one too...

I like even numbers.

#6.10 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 3:31 PM EDT
your headline was better

I wish I could take credit for that. Unfortunately I'm rarely so subtle.

#6.11 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 3:31 PM EDT
I like even numbers.

Ooooh, good one.

#6.12 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 3:32 PM EDT

CC - thanks. You know me so well:-)

btw - I'm odd. That's why I didn't come. I mean... whatever

#6.13 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 6:33 PM EDT

Just think how many votes you'll get when you post to you tube and then seed here - you replicating this feat complete with the spoons manuever.

Suggested headline:
My breasts Crush Cans And Don't Even Hurt (Much) - Wanna See?

#6.14 - Fri Oct 26, 2007 1:34 AM EDT

I take back what I said about respectable viners...

#6.15 - Fri Oct 26, 2007 4:57 AM EDT

and what about me?

sulking in the corner

#6.16 - Fri Oct 26, 2007 5:08 AM EDT
"It sends a clear message to all licensees in Peel that we will not tolerate this type of behavior in our licensed premises," local police superintendent David Parkinson said.

Don't you think it sends the very clear message that nude chicks are the life of a party?

#7 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 1:48 PM EDT

I think it sends a clear message to all chicks to at least try crushing a beer can at home.... just to see.

#7.1 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 1:57 PM EDT

and then spill the spoils on YouTube!

#7.2 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 2:40 PM EDT

Pictures - or it didn't happen.

#8 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 2:13 PM EDT

Of course! My husband is now wondering about my strange request to bring home cans of soda on his way home from work.

Could be fun after the kids are in bed tonight.

#8.1 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 2:23 PM EDT

This thing is now the top seed. I am quickly losing faith in my fellow man. Errr...maybe I'm just naive. ::sigh::

On the bright side, I think I just stumbled upon a way to boost my vine earnings.

#9 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 4:42 PM EDT

Especially if you make that video. ;-)

#9.1 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 4:45 PM EDT
Especially if you make that video. ;-)

What do you thin , Dennis? 400, 500 comments?

#9.2 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 4:47 PM EDT

Oh, at least.

And then people will clamor for a sequel. And a retrospective.

#9.3 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 4:53 PM EDT
And then people will clamor for a sequel. And a retrospective.

Personally, I'll just need a rewind button.

#9.4 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 4:56 PM EDT
sequel. And a retrospective

I'll just settle for any perspective. On second thoughts...

#9.5 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 6:36 PM EDT

The problem with making a video is that I could never compete with this.

Enjoy!

#9.6 - Fri Oct 26, 2007 9:24 AM EDT

she's not seeking competition. just some more silicon, that's all she ever wants.

#9.7 - Fri Oct 26, 2007 9:39 AM EDT

Raat,

Yes, she is rather freakish.

#9.8 - Fri Oct 26, 2007 9:53 AM EDT

You're on your way Brenda. Just think You Tube. Do you want some help selling the idea of movie directorship to your husband? Hollywood's got some problems at present - it's a hot opportunity!

#10 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 6:39 PM EDT

Pics & Video please, this is the internet speaking.

#11 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 7:06 PM EDT

WebQuack,

See my 4.5. And my new avatar. I may consider video.

#11.1 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:10 PM EDT

I was looking for pictures too. :)

#11.2 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:17 PM EDT

Wheel,

They are here my circular friend.

#11.3 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:31 PM EDT

I think this will make a swell painting...hmmm.

#12 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:47 PM EDT

The west is too concerned about breasts.
Get a life!
Men can walk about without T-shirts!
Why can't women?
Men have controlled everything in this world.
Women have had little control.
Religion is the problem.
If you are not religious, you are the problem.
Give woman control and the world would be better off.
This is from a male!

#13 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:02 PM EDT

Having a bad hair day, kiml?

#13.1 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:04 PM EDT
Give woman control and the world would be better off.

Depends on the woman, I would assume. I managed to royally screw up my own life, the Lord only knows what I could do the world.

#13.2 - Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:49 PM EDT
Men can walk about without T-shirts!
Why can't women?

I concur! :o)

And to be honest I actually agree with the origin of your point, not the biased 'ohh boobies, *squeeze*' problem that most men have.

#13.3 - Fri Oct 26, 2007 2:34 AM EDT
Well, you don't see something like this every day

Ah, a jaded New Yorker perhaps, or a Village style life but the only thing that was shocking was the arrest. *smirk*

#14 - Fri Oct 26, 2007 12:34 AM EDT

All this fuss over modified sweat glands? That is the embryological precursor of the breast after all.

I was amazed that Brenda did not figure out about the breast obsession - Playboy? Penthouse? all the less 'cultured' mags...

#15 - Fri Oct 26, 2007 2:54 AM EDT

This I gotta see.

#16 - Fri Oct 26, 2007 7:59 AM EDT

If I squeezed beer cans between my breasts it would bring tit-tit-tit-tears to my eyes.

#17 - Fri Oct 26, 2007 5:35 PM EDT
tit-tit-tit-

and with that comment, this seed must now quality for the 'Flocks' Groups!

#17.1 - Fri Oct 26, 2007 5:41 PM EDT