NBA Q and A

Well the regular season is over and we are deep into the second round, which means we only get what will feel like five more months of TNT giving us Kyra Sedgwick promos for The Closer. Apparently if you ask TNT, they know drama. So I thought questions need to be answered. The NBA questions that everyone has been waiting for so their basketball puzzles can be filled in by the missing pieces.

So, let’s get started before Kyra Sedgwick and her flashlight hijack your computer screen.

Who has been the breakout performer in the playoffs so far?

Deron Williams. A year ago people were already writing him off and blasting Utah for passing on Chris Paul to draft him. Williams had a really good regular season, but since the playoffs started the argument could be made he’s been the best point guard thus far. He’s playing like Jason Kidd with a jump shot or a mature Baron Davis. Baron may be the strongest and most physical point guard in the NBA and Williams has been able to hang with him in the post on both offense and defense. He always seems to play under control, which for a second year player in his first playoff series is amazing, and Jerry Sloan seems to have the confidence to let him take the big shots. I think if these playoffs are a glimpse of what we will get from Deron; his name will appear on ALL NBA teams for years to come.

Which player has been the biggest surprise during the playoffs?

Two reasons, because he’s hit some huge shots in pressure situations and he hasn’t shot anyone, it has to be Stephen Jackson. I’ve watched him pretty close through the playoffs and found myself asking the question if I underestimated his value to his team. Ultimately I decided the answer was no, because he has the ball handling skills of a 12 year old with nerve damage, never thinks there is a double team that he can’t split, plus the whole shooting at people thing. But, he has no conscience when shooting… the basketball and in an underdog role he’s a perfect fit for a team. On a good team I think he could single handedly hijack a team’s chance of a championship, which speaks volumes of Duncan being able to overcome Action Jackson and win a ring.

Speaking of the Spurs… Are they going to win a fourth ring?

I think they will beat the Suns and cruise to the NBA finals, but I’m betting they will face a rested Pistons team. I know San Antonio beat them a couple of years ago in the finals, but the addition of Webber will play a huge role in that series. The last time around the Spurs were able to match up Duncan against Ben Wallace on defense so he could avoid early fouls and carry the load on offense. With Webber, there will be stretches the Pistons can put Sheed, Webber and McDyess on the floor, and all three of those guys can hit the mid range jumper and are more than capable of scoring in the post which will force Duncan to defend beyond 12ft. Which means fatigue late in games and a couple of more fouls that he wouldn’t get against Big Ben resulting in more time on the bench. While we are talking about the Spurs am I the only one who is convinced that Manu Ginobli ages in dog years? Three years ago I thought he was one of the better two’s in the league, now he splits time with Finley and makes Robert Horry look like he’s 25 and Tony Parker look like he’s seven. I’m not saying he’s washed up but does anyone else expect him to miss next season because he needs hip replacement surgery?

Note: The only way the Pistons don’t win the title is if Scottie Pippen and Horace Grant trade hearts with Larry Hughes and Drew Gooden, or Eddie Griffin is driving the team bus. If you don’t know what that is about, see my previous "the 15 most important questions for the NBA season"

My buddy Ray asked me if anyone cares about the Eastern Conference playoffs.

No. Detroit is in a class all by themselves and not one series in the east has presented any drama or compelling story. The closest thing we got was Vinsanity returning to Toronto, and honestly Vince Carter or Canada aren’t very high on my list of must see TV. Neither is Kyra Sedgwick, but God love ’em TNT keeps trying. Cause they know drama. Am I the only one who thinks the NBA is a little nervous that LeBron’s games are trailing in the ratings? I know the Cavs played the Wizards who were one more injury away from calling Wes Unseld out of retirement, but Bron Bron is supposed to be the savior, right? I think it’s very likely that David Stern is negotiating a multi-soul deal with Satan right now to get Jerry West, Pat Riley and LeBron to the Knicks by 2009.

Which souls would be required to get this deal done?

Here’s the dilemma. I think right now Stern has put Mark Cuban, Isaiah Thomas, Stephen Jackson and Joey Crawford on the table. Beelzebub is okay with Cuban because he thinks Cuban would have some great promotional ideas for hell. He says he’ll take Crawford and Jackson because he wants to know if you gave Joey a whistle and Action Jackson a gun and stuck them in a room, who would survive. Right now at this point the deal breaker is Isaiah. Satan is worried that Zeke will screw up hell the way he did the CBA and the Knicks, but said he will take him but it will mean that Greg Oden is a bust and Kevin Durant suffers through a “Grant Hill” like career. Stern is weighing his options.

Did I really make you read about a fictional scenario about Satan and Stern negotiating for souls?
Nope, because it’s not fictional.

What was the biggest relief of the season?

Steve Nash not winning a third MVP. I think a few of you just pooped your pants out of anger. I just feel that three time MVP status should be reserved for the game’s immortals. Nash is an all-star point guard, but I just can’t put him up there with Jordan, Magic or Bird. He’s great at what he does, and the Suns wouldn’t be as good without him, but I think the Suns caught lighting in a bottle when they put Nash, Marion and Stoudamire together. Look at Nash’s “MVP” numbers and then compare them to the bulk of John Stockton’s career numbers and tell me why Stockton didn’t get consideration for an MVP when he produced similar numbers on some good Utah teams. My guess is because he left nothing to hide with those shorts and in the process offended a few people. In my opinion if Nash was the player indicative of a three time MVP he would have been more dominate in Dallas, and no one would have been critical of Phoenix when they signed him.

What’s the best thing to happen for the league in the playoffs?

No I don’t hate Steve Nash, but I’m going with Bruce Bowen kneeing him in the man space, because it proves to me that he isn’t a Muppet, and Robert Horry checking him into the scorer’s table. It’s good for the NBA because we now have two talented teams that don’t like each other, which amps up the energy level. The best situation the NBA could have in a game is a scuffle or heated exchange that still avoids the ugliness of a fist fight. Game winning shots and hard fouls are what get remembered in playoff games. Defense is no longer loose like sleeve of wizard, rebounds are grabbed with tenacity and drives to the hoop have an element of danger to them. Hard fouls are what made the Celtics vs. Lakers and Bulls vs. Knicks so great. These are two mature teams that have one goal, and the best thing that can happen is the refs swallow their whistles and let the series play out. By the way, if Stephen Jackson were on either roster I would take back everything I just wrote and expect the arena to be evacuated because like TNT, Stephen Jackson knows drama.

What is the best off the court story of the season?

Unfortunately Stephen Jackson almost being hit by a car while firing a gun in the air, in the parking lot of a strip club happened preseason. I’m going to go with a fan running into Kwame Brown on the street, and asking for a picture with Kwame. The story goes that Kwame, then threw the poor guy’s birthday cake on him and ran away laughing, THEN, oh yes there’s more, then the poor guy is walking along the street when he see’s Lamar Odom and has the coconuts to ask Lamar if he will seek out Kwame for the money owed for a ruined B-Day cake. Odom’s body guard see’s the fan as a threat and starts roughing him up before Odom calls off the body guard. We’ve all seen Kwame Brown play; he is Kobe Bryant’s kryptonite. I think the fan exaggerated Kwame throwing the cake and what actually happened, like every pass in the paint that Kwame receives, the fan asked Kwame to hold the cake for the picture and he just dropped it on the guy. I still believe that he ran away laughing.

Yep, the NBA, it’s FAN-FREAK’N-TASTIC

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