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American Viner in Finland - "Finland is predominately honky."

Honkies buying groceries. This honky needed toothpaste and other toiletries.

Honkies waiting for a bus.

Honkies waiting to cross the street.

Honkie school chums taking a field trip to the mall.

Live music from various honky bands.

Happy honky.

Ill advised brand strategy.

Ethnic food from a distant country.

Yes Newsvine, I am coming to you live from Finland. The greatest observation I can make on your behalf is that

Finland is predominately honky...

I have provided photos to support my thesis. Other observations include:

The national hairstyle is straight blonde with short blonde and straight bleached blonde coming in second and third. The occasional goth honky can be seen sporting a head dyed all black.

The popular music among young people is described as heavy metal, a long time honky fave. Hip Hop is limited to Joss Stone and Fergie.

Meals have been excellent. The most common lunch or dinner includes grilled chicken or smoked fish. You can go a little wild by adding toasted goat cheese or steamed carrots. Predictably, all of my waiters and waitresses have been honky.

I was informed by one local that the greatest social problem is that

"...it didn't snow last Christmas. We were very disappointed."

I do not feel as if I am in danger. The greatest problem I have is that I am mistaken for being a domestic honky. I am addressed in Finnish and have to endure the humiliation of being an American honky that only speaks English.

Despite this hardship I feel strangely at home. I could be in Ohio, Minnesota, Wisconsin or Indiana. So in a way, Finland is just like America... just like you and me.

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The outdoor seating at Subway (above) was obviously selected by a honky.

Reply#1 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 6:07 AM EDT

So, what the heck are you doing in Finland?

Reply#2 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 6:45 AM EDT

I thought you might ask. I am attending a conference... I might work for a company that sells fanny packs.

#2.1 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 6:57 AM EDT
fanny packs

... nothing is more honky, they will sell like hot cakes over there! Do they sell hot cakes over there?

#2.2 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 8:31 AM EDT
Reply

Fascinating. I never thought I would see a real-life honky.

Pardon my ignorance, but what's a honky again?

Reply#3 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 8:50 AM EDT

It's a racial slur for white people. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honky

#3.1 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 10:01 AM EDT

My favorite ethic slur for us white folks is "cracker". I find it hilarious!

In truth, I have never known a white guy to be offended by ethic terms about them. Ever. Here in Southern California, I routinely refer to myself as a "gringo" <-- another ethnic slur used by Mexicans.

#3.2 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 11:09 AM EDT

I personally like European European.

#3.3 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 11:49 AM EDT

u mean as opposed to the Anglosaxons, don't you? Not often considered European. oops, don't mean to start fighting on the beeches again:-)

#3.4 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 12:31 PM EDT

Raat

You are asking it again. I did not actually understand you, but that cannot be as an excuse for not to attack against you.

But to historic aspect: Hitler did not accept Finns to the "Aryan race" and Germans were not allowed to marry Finns.

#3.5 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 1:41 PM EDT

Not sure I understand your point. What did you mean by your comment about Europeans?

Just for the record, I believe that Hitler and his extremist Nazi regime completely abused the whole point about the Aryans as some kind of superior master race. It was totally against everything that Aryans, emanating from Central Asia (with me like many others being a product) believe in about Aryan culture and mindset.

#3.6 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 4:56 PM EDT

Holy Crap! I never would have thought it would be possible to Godwinize a light article about somebody's experiences in Finland.

#3.7 - Fri Sep 28, 2007 10:04 AM EDT
Reply

Except they have the best public education system in the world and a more competitive economy and a better business environment than the United States.

Reply#4 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 9:20 AM EDT

And the most popular Newsviner: Alexa: Where people go at Newsvine

#4.1 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 9:49 AM EDT

Now that's something to be proud of!

#4.2 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 11:17 AM EDT

Be careful, you wouldn't want somebody to think you meant this was due to their honkeyness (aka being white). The outrage machine will crank up.

#4.3 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 11:26 AM EDT

I was merely responding to the last paragraph of the author's article:

I could be in Ohio, Minnesota, Wisconsin or Indiana. So in a way, Finland is just like America... just like you and me.
#4.4 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 11:35 AM EDT
Reply

Matthew Brennan, would be nice if you ran into Pasi. I wish more Newsviners would write about their travels or home areas. I don't particularly care for daily blogs but I sure enjoy those who are experiencing activities which are new and foreign to me. Thanks for being there and telling us about it.

Reply#5 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 10:04 AM EDT

I'm not even sure what you are satirizing but I got a good laugh...especially the supermarket sign.

Thanks.

Reply#6 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 11:03 AM EDT

So you have arrived Matt. Good to read you from the land of the midnight sun. Good piccies. And if you've got a rental, no need to honk (unlike your travels to other less honky parts of the world). You will have noticed that the Finns take decibels in the street very seriously.

Reminded me of a time when I was driving through Helsinki, stopped at a red light, engrossed in my map for directions. Lost track of where I was - suddenly became aware that the lights must have changed back and forth about 3 times. A huge long queue of cars behind me. All had waited patiently - not a single honk. Most other places in the world, I would have been run off the road. Some places, I would not have lived to tell the tale.

Good luck with your conference.

Reply#7 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 11:09 AM EDT

That's hilarious Raat. So far, every time I come to a cross walk, the cars stop to let me by. Pedestrians waiting at a busy intersection have not jay walked once. They wait for the little green man to light up. I have jaywalked several times so far and I have been given a non-condonal look. No spite though... just a bit of shock. Very polite bunch. Highly civilized.

#7.1 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 12:14 PM EDT
Reply

Hard to think of a more Honky nation..except perhaps Iceland.

But nice Honkies, mind you.

Reply#8 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 11:12 AM EDT

Try Luxembourg. Except for the expatriates who work in the financial sector there, it's virtually 100% white.

#8.1 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 11:18 AM EDT
Try Luxembourg. Except for the expatriates who work in the financial sector there, it's virtually 100% white.

Well, that's like saying that Darien is a honkie town. But I see your point.

#8.2 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 11:32 AM EDT
Reply

Were you at Vantaa?

Reply#9 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 11:47 AM EDT

Yea. Rode the train to Helsinki a couple of days ago. "Contact this author" if you want to stage a coup and do an unsanctioned Vinemeet Europe.

#9.1 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 12:16 PM EDT

Are you going to live in Finland or travel more here in future, or do you not know yet?

#9.2 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 12:28 PM EDT

Maybe once a year trip.

#9.3 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 12:41 PM EDT

I've been planning about Vinemeet at Finland, but at the moment, it's unlike to have many participants. Of course I happy with drinking alone, but perhaps that's not the idea.

#9.4 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 1:04 PM EDT
Reply

Hi Matt,

This reminds me of my friend from Norway, I have never seen a whiter person in my life, but the least judgemental and least racist.

I like your pointed critique at the end.

Thanks for this look.

Reply#10 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 1:17 PM EDT

You're welcome Brenda. Great people here.

#10.1 - Thu Sep 27, 2007 4:22 PM EDT
Reply

I was informed by one local that the greatest social problem is that

"...it didn't snow last Christmas. We were very disappointed."

Perhaps the Finns could learn something from Sweden-- another country that used to have the same problem, but seems to be well on the way towards overcoming it. If you are interested, and feeling a bit overwhelmed by excessive honkiness-- you can research the success the Swedes have had in places such as Malmö.

Reply#11 - Fri Sep 28, 2007 4:30 PM EDT

Wish I had asked you to bring back a Finnish bandanna fer me.

Reply#12 - Sun Sep 30, 2007 11:45 PM EDT

Very enjoyable honky humour. I'm a little confused though - Govinda Viner a new name for Matthew Brennan, right?

Oh and now I have the song "Honky Town" stuck in my head - it's Funky Town only without the Funky-ness.

Reply#13 - Wed Oct 10, 2007 5:50 PM EDT