Hiding out 'til the blowhards go home.

A Popsicle Now? Cross-Marketing Idea Just Did Not Fly

Sun Oct 14, 2007 11:49 PM EDT

(Roteau-Reuters News Service) Inspired by the success of the Condom Lollipop, a certain purveyor of ice cream tried its own version of cross-marketing. Sadly, results were flaccid.

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odd-news, sex, marketing, nyc, silly, condoms, contraception, ice-cream, nwwn, lollipops

New "Family-friendlier" water park to open.

Wed Oct 10, 2007 12:38 AM EDT

Provo-Lony, UT Catering to the conservative tastes of the upper-mid-southwest, AquaGroup Corp plans to open a "family-friendlier" water park that will feature not just separate pools for men and women, but also clothed sea mammals.

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odd-news, water-park, family-friendly, dolphins, nwwn, no-nude-dolphins, aqua-world, fun, vacation, preposterous-fabrication

NWWN Hora-bora-scope for week ending oct 7

Tue Oct 2, 2007 9:00 PM EDT

Are you boring? How would you know? This week's hora-bora-scope will include a bor-ometer so you can be aware of your snooze quotient for the week. Your potential to bore will be on an ascending scale, 0 to 5 nods. Wake up!!!!

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odd-news, boring, nwwn, horroscope, yoga, prune-whip, oven-mitts, silly, i-am-a-bunny, bor-ometer

Ken Burns' "Bingo": was there a KGB Connection?

Sun Sep 30, 2007 10:27 PM EDT

Opening to the haunting strains of "There was a Farmer Had a Dog" arranged for string sextet and panpipes by Minton Warsalis, Ken Burns turns his camera toward those Lucky-Strike-stained, Lee-Press-On-nailed hands that wield those irresistible celluloid buttons in archival footag …

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odd-news, bingo, dog, ken-burns, documentary, lucky-strike, blue-hair, aquanet, lime-green-polyester-pantsuit, tv

What Kind of Lazy Are You? - a NWWN Quiz

Sun Sep 16, 2007 4:56 PM EDT

Whilst the author here lays claim to being the laziest person on newsvine, it occurs to her, that, in a spirit of magnanimity, the honors ought be spread around. After all, there is more than one kind of laziness. This little quiz will place you on the laziness spectrum.

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clogs, lazy, shiftless, work-ethic, quiz, nwwn, dolce-far-niente, odd-news

The Absolute Last Word on Just What The Freakin' Hell Is Wrong With Most Newsvine Users

Mon Sep 10, 2007 2:47 AM EDT

Periodically, and, if anything, with an exponential telescoping of periodicity, an article shows up under the Most Commented, or Most Voted that consists mainly of over-long sentences, concatenated then into insufficiently divided paragraphs, of such polysyllabically polymorphou …

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meta, complaint, censorship, right-wing, left-wing, rant

This Week in Goats

Mon Sep 10, 2007 12:45 AM EDT

By now, who hasn't heard about The Goat That Saved a Boeing 757 , but did you know what else those remarkable cloven-hoofed ruminants are up to?

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goat, nwwn, nannies, eggs, headlines, odd-news

In Memory of 4 Little Girls 9/15/1963

Sat Sep 1, 2007 10:03 PM EDT

Addie Mae Collins, Carol Denise McNair, Cynthia Wesley, and Carole Rosamond Robertson. They died on September 15, 1963, in Birmingham Alabama.

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us-news, 4-little-girls, birmingham, church-fire, racism, 1963, alabama, addie-mae-collins, carole-robertson, cynthia-wesley

My Art

Sun Aug 19, 2007 6:26 PM EDT

short version - I'm taking off to do more of this.

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art, ceramics, music, arts

Your Weakly Headlines 8/31/2007

Sun Aug 19, 2007 4:06 AM EDT

news you didn't know you couldn't do without. . . Mixup Most Fowl: Rubber Chicken Ends up in Cat Food from China Meanwhile bad smells emanate from loading dock at Archie McPhee's _____________________

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rubber-chicken, headlines, blurbs, nwwn, odd-news, ground-chuck, ferrett

Vladivostok Here I Come! US Has Purchased Siberia

Sun Aug 12, 2007 4:00 PM EDT

Why can't I seed this? This just in: The United States has purchased Siberia from Russia. At the vortex of world events which seem to be spinning away from the American superpower grip, a solution shimmers in the eye of this global political storm - it is Siberia.

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siberia, diplomacy, china, immigration, alaska, seward, putin, chinese, labor, vladivostok

How I Came to Love My Nose

Wed Jun 27, 2007 12:01 AM EDT

Yes, that is my nose. Not someone else's nose. My nose. It was not an easy nose at the start. I had to grow into it, literally and figuratively.

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fashion, nose, beauty, aquiline, proboscis, self-image, ethnicity, mental-health, life, love

miss j rides into the city (part 2 of Life cycle) - reflections

Wed May 16, 2007 6:29 PM EDT

"Is it safe?" is the question I hear most often when I tell people I bicycle from my inner-ring suburban apartment to the Metro Campus of Cuyahoga Community College, where I study ceramics, or to the Legacy Project, on the border of the riot-scarred historic neighborhoods Hough a …

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inner-city, cleveland, cycling, urban, poverty, eminent-domain, bicycling, miss-j

Life cycle

Mon May 14, 2007 9:02 AM EDT

Somewhere in China is the person I've somewhat traded places with. S/he is sitting in traffic, whereas I am playing in traffic. I have bought a bicycle.

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sports, bicycling, urban, transportation, china, energy, cleveland, inner-city, bike, biking

Branching Out

Mon May 14, 2007 8:09 AM EDT

We all have one, someone on our watchlist who might be The Best Viner You've Never Heard Of. Someone who's never made the leaderboard, who reminds you that there's more than 50 people here on newsvine. Mine is Saleem Ali, a professor for environmental planning.

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newsvine, watchlist, favorites, community, hot-chicks, saleem-ali, technology

Whirled (chick)Peas for World Peace: The AoD Eggplant Smackdown/Smashup

Mon Mar 5, 2007 10:06 PM EST

OK, fine, so I write this cute (I think) lighthearted little column on how Mideast tensions might be eased by the commonality of a Mediterranean identity, and it's received rather well, lifting me from the funk of obscurity howsoever temporarily, when who should come along, long …

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politics, droolhouse-woops-i-mean-drollhouse, drollhouse, world-peace, whirled-peas, hot-chick-peas, eggplant, baba-ghanoush, havok, smackdown

Without Words

Thu Feb 22, 2007 1:08 PM EST

Here's an AP photo from today's Haaretz on line.

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world-news, israel, palestine, jerusalem, peace, mount-of-olives, jews, arabs, muslims

Can't We All Be Mediterranean?

Tue Feb 20, 2007 10:13 AM EST

What is Mediterranean? Mediterranean means having a way with eggplant, being hospitable, having a grandmother who makes incredible pastries: it's about coffee, friendship, and not working too hard. Mediterranean is the essence of the good life. And, yet. . .

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politics, israel, lebanon, palestine, egypt, italy, mediterranean, peace, humor, affability

Snow, Glorious Snow!

Wed Feb 14, 2007 3:04 AM EST

First of all, let me say this little articlette (actually, I think article is already a diminutive) is in memory of my darling mother, who passed away 2 years ago this week. One particular February, not all that long ago, it was cold and cloudy, but there was no snow.

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odd-news, snow, blizzard, sledding, fun, acting-your-age-is-so-overrated, weather, cleveland, brrr

When Cabin Fever Becomes OCD (Obsessive Chocolate Derangement)

Wed Feb 7, 2007 10:58 PM EST

So, my 15-year-old son had two days off school because of the cold. We were housebound. Cabin fever was setting in. I decided to relieve the tedium by baking some brownies. Also to earn, literally,"brownie points" in the Who Loves You game show that is joint custody.

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home-garden, brownie-madness, brownies, how-to-cook-like-me, chocolate, family-values, parenting, cabin-fever, drollhouse, foodies

Newsvine Parody Contest - Song Lyrics.

Thu Jan 18, 2007 2:47 PM EST

It may be the best jazz waltz ever written, saddled by the all-time lyrics from hell. Of course I'm referring to the Bachrach/David "Wives and Lovers." The Lifetime ad for "Desparate Housewives" features it, sung beguilingly by Jack Jones. What can I do?

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entertainment, bacharach, desparate-housewives, drollhouse, parody, feminist, jazz, sexist-lyrics, hey-little-girl, funny

AHA - A Group for the Rest of Us - or "The 12 Steps of Christmas"

Thu Dec 28, 2006 4:21 PM EST

It all started on a dark and stormy night. Wait, that's not it. The weather was fine when we started out. My 16-year old daughter was in the front of the car being incredibly mouthy, - or perfectly 16, for that fact. She had gotten on my last frayed nerve.

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odd-news, funny, drollhouse, assholes, 12-step-programs, christmas, sanctimonious-bloviation, hot-chicks, unwarranted-use-of-hot-chicks-tag, road-rage

Christmas in the Orchestra Pit - my Drollhouse "audition"

Fri Dec 22, 2006 1:14 AM EST

HI, can I join in? I need fun, plus a break from, well, the "fertilizer" I've seen around the vine lately.

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entertainment, christmas, humor, nutcracker, music, artsvine, drollhouse, sugarplums, 12-days-of

We Threw The Bums Out!

Tue Nov 7, 2006 10:03 PM EST

...at least here in Ohio. I'm gonna hit the hay, hoping to wake to a Democratic dawn.

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us-news, ohio, election, senate, strickland, democrat, republican

East Coast Spinach Evades E. Coli Escapades

Tue Oct 31, 2006 11:11 AM EST

Finally, I can buy my son's favorite (no kidding!) vegetable again. I did notice that the bagged spinach at my local, non-chain grocery store came from Virginia and that it had instructions to wash it before use.

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health, food, spinach, e-coli, produce, farming

– Show More

Comments & Feedback

The fifty-three pound gorilla sitting in the corner of the room is urbane. Urbane indeed.

— Yuriy Bilokonsky

I didn't know about the name-change. You didn't put out a "To Whom it may concern"!

— Oluseye

I am here to say,

That our lovely Miss J

Has wrought on us a happy spree

Lovely Miss J, today is Fifty Three!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISS J !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

— Oluseye

Miss J, your lovely sense of humour has captivated me. Keep smiling, keep hoping, and if you get a chance, kiss the Blarney stone (although it seems you already have :-)

Cheers.

— Paddy Ryan